Dear John

The movie, "Dear John" always makes me cry.

Stumbling

If you desire not to stumble, when walking down a rocky road... you must watch the path that you are travelling. Or else you will trip, and your knees, hands, elbows, and face will get a much closer relationship with the dirt your shoes had known so well.

This is true in all things... life is a rocky path. Meandering about is dangerous and unproductive. Tripping in life, is a much more painful experience than your average skinned knee or flesh wound... because the consequences are not generally so temporal.

Memories

Memories feel so close, and yet so out of reach. Pictures incite those memories, and help you to recall the world in which those images took place... the steps you took to get there, and the fun times that happened afterwards. But they are just memories. Those people aren't around anymore. There is nothing tangible for you to reach out and feel, nothing for your eyes to see.

Sometimes it feels like it never happened, and it really was just a dream. Sometimes when those people aren't available to you... you wonder if they even still exist. "Out of sight out of mind" turns to a kind of loss, because in some ways, they feel dead... like they no longer exist. A sort of ... shroedinger's cat, so to speak... because until we see them again, we really don't know whether or not they are even out there still, breathing and laughing and living.

Radioactive

Today's doctor appointment brought forth news. I'm scheduled for an ultra sound in three weeks.. and then a full body scan.. and some other such tests and such... and then my Radioactive Iodine treatment should begin soon after that!

I'm not really excited because it involves a whole heck of a lot of hassle.. and a lot of isolation besides that... and in all honesty, I don't really do very well with isolation! But I suppose my plan will be to avoid thinking about that part of the whole thing until we get a little closer to that point in my life story, yeah?