Prayer

My first semester at BYU Idaho, one of my roommates was taking a religion class. In that class they were given a handful of challenges that they could pick from to endeavor. The one she chose was on prayer. Her teacher challenged them to make the subject of their morning prayer be on Gratitude and Gratitude alone for 15 minutes every morning for two weeks. She mentioned once the growth she felt from this and how difficult it seemed at first to think of 15 minutes worth of things to be grateful for... but by the end of those two weeks she didn't want to stop. Fifteen minutes would come and she couldn't stop thinking of things the Lord had blessed her with. Fifteen minutes was no longer enough time for her to express that gratitude.

This notion intrigued me early on. Now I know, you probably think it's a little weird to time your prayers, and I agree. Which is why I wouldn't say that this is a practice that should be regularly enforced... but I believe it is a good learning exercise. I took this challenge on that first semester and I felt closer to God by the end of those two weeks than I had ever felt in my life (to my recall). My burdens felt lighter.

Michael spoke of prayer in his most recent email. He described a woman who felt her burdens were too heavy to spend time praying for other people--that she needed to focus on praying for her own problems. Michael explained that while he understands the feeling, that he feels more blessed when he prays for others than when he has prayed for himself alone. This has always been an odd concept to me because most days I only pray for others, and rarely pray about anything to do with myself. And while I believe this is one of my strengths, I believe that we should find some balance.

I do not go to my Heavenly Father about my life and my struggles enough. Because I pray so much for others, and put their needs before my own, I am more apt to discredit my own problems rather than go to the Lord for aid and direction.

The challenge of having my morning prayers pay homage to the many things God has provided me with and how he has blessed my life helped me to connect with my Heavenly Father in such a way that I felt of His love for me. I was able to feel that my Heavenly Father truly loved me and that I could go to him with any need--my needs, not just the needs of others. It also helped me establish a habit of daily morning prayer at the time.

I think this is a challenge I'd like to endeavor to participate in again. I remember the spirit of gratitude that dwelt in my heart that semester... and I would so love to invite it back into my life as well as the testimony of my Father's love for me.

~~~

I suggest reading Mormon 9:13-37
But specifically... I suggest Mormon 9:20,31

The Hunt

Every day I get on the computer.
And every day I fill out a few more applications
And look for a few more...
And I'm so sick of looking for jobs.
Sigh.

Been at Kathy's for about a week and a half now, and I've got a little more than half a week more here before I go to Provo. There's still time of course to find jobs, and I'm sure I'll continue the process of looking for and filling out more and more applications. Although I've kind of hit a point where I feel like the only jobs left, are the ones that only accept paper applications, which means actually being in Provo. I'll keep praying though.

My dear friend and roommate Ann has begun planning thoughts of decorations for our room, which makes me very "nesty" as Kathy would say. Especially with Michael coming home so soon now. I want to go buy things for a home! Decorations and knickknacks! I looooove knickknacks! haha.

I know. I'm ridiculous.

Kokopelli!
Glass figurines!
Fish!
Rubber Duckies!
Kangaroos!

An Associates Degree

I just took my last final. If I wanted to, I could say I was done. I could declare that I never have to take another test again in the secular setting. Tomorrow, I will graduate BYU-Idaho with my Associates Degree. But I certainly don't feel done. I feel a pulling at my heart, that I feel will some day lead me back to this place. I've had friends and memories in this cold dank place that warms my soul and brightens my face. And I don't feel done. I know there is something coming. I know there are things for me to do. I know there are things for me to learn. There are people out there, that need me in their life... and if I stopped growing and developing right now--as a person and as a citizen, and as a Daughter of God--I would not be ready to meet the needs of those individuals.

So tomorrow, I will get my Associates. But I will not be done. My education will not be over--nor I hope, will it ever be.

Tomorrow I will leave this city of Rexburg, hopefully to face new challenges in the coming months. But I hope to come back to this city of love and learning.

Tomorrow I will say good bye to good friends. But I hope to see many of them again.

Tomorrow I will pack up my things and see an empty home. But I will take my things, and make a new home.

Tomorrow I will leave the Lord's University. But I will not leave the Lord.

Tomorrow I will be one step closer to being who I want to be. But I won't have reached my potential yet.

Tomorrow I will get my Associates. But I certainly will not be done.