My mom used to tell me that I was the light in people's eyes, and that I could fill a room with smiles... be a peacemaker. I could make anyone feel better no matter how sad they were. I had a reputation for always being happy. I always wanted a career I could use those skills in. I loved that those were my associated talents and I wanted to use them always. I could get people to open up to me, and it seemed like I always had sage advice to give. But slowly as I got older it felt like people were getting more sad, and their problems were getting bigger than I could solve with any amount of sage advice. I'm not sure anymore if I have those talents I was always acclaimed with, or if there's a career that is just right for me and those skills.
Maybe that's the real reason I have wanted to go into teaching. Smaller people, smaller faces to make smile.
Friday, May 27, 2011
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Monday, May 16, 2011
Institute
There isn't really an institute class I can go to here in Provo and it makes me kind of sad. I feel like I would benefit from going and could probably make some friends! But both of the Institutes around here are pretty far away and most of the classes don't mesh well with my work schedule anyway. Maybe there's an online class I could take somewhere instead so I'm atleast still getting the religion side of it in anyway.
Feels like this will be a long week. But hopefully a good one.
Feels like this will be a long week. But hopefully a good one.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Love of Home
My experience growing up in Texas is something I believe to be unique, primarily because I grew up in Austin. I think people wonder why people in Texas seem to grow up with such a sense of pride for their state. And sometimes I wonder too. I never really felt like anyone was telling me to have pride for my state. Austin is the "Music Capital of the World" and it's the place where we're taught to "Keep Austin Weird" and where we make fun of Waco for trying to copy us with "Keep Waco Wacky." Austin is the home of the Texas state capitol building... which is 15ft taller than the United States Capitol building. Most notably of course, it is the home of The University of Texas, filled with phrases like "Go Longhorns!" and "We bleed orange!" Everyone's heard the normal Texas phrases of course, like "Everything's bigger in Texas" and everyone knows that Texas is the only state that's ever been a country, and it's also the only state who has it written in its constitution that they can succeed from the union and/or split itself into 4 different states. "Don't mess with Texas" and of course, our famous use of the world "ya'll" ... or "yawl" depending on how "cowboy" the citizen is or thinks he is. But I never really felt like those were the things that made me love Texas... except maybe with the exception of the word "ya'll" because I certainly do love that! Personally, one of my favorite things about Texas is the bluebonnets in spring.
In high school I returned to public school system and learned that all of a sudden we had a new pledge I'd never heard before: The Texas Pledge ... which goes a little something like this:
But you know what really did it? It was leaving Texas that taught me Texas pride. When I first came to Idaho, I encountered a lot of hate. And that's really what I have to call it. I was getting harassed on a weekly if not daily basis for being a Texan. I had to put up a front for Texas pride in order to shield myself from all the things people were saying to me. It was a survival mechanism. And I just didn't understand it. What gave anyone the right to bash on the place I grew up in? Where my family lived? Where my home was? People focused so much on where you were from. Left and right all around me there were comments like "Iowa, who lives in Iowa?"... and the list went on with North Dakota, Ohio, Nevada etc... and I noticed immediately that no one had any pride for their own state. And I thought that was the weirdest concept. You grow up somewhere... somewhere filled with memories of your family, your friends and your religion. How do you not feel some kind of love for where you're from? I never thought loving Texas would be a problem because I thought everyone loved their home state and everyone would understand my love for Texas because they could relate it to how much they loved Idaho or Montana or Michigan or what have you! And I don't see why they shouldn't love their home state as much as I love Texas! In that respect, I don't think Texas is any different from any other state! And if I raise my children somewhere besides Texas, which I feel I most likely will... I want them to have pride for whatever state they grow up in! With a little Texas pride thrown in for dear old mom!
When I got to Idaho, I wondered why everyone thought all the cowboys came from Texas... because I sure knew a whole lot more people who acted like what people expected "Texans" to act like while I was in Idaho than I ever did in Texas. I came to love Idaho quickly. I loved the cold weather. I loved the spirit I felt there. I loved seeing horses and cows and donkeys and llamas. I loved meeting people who actually went hunting and lived off the land. I loved how clean things were. I loved making memories with roommates and with Michael. I loved deciding with Michael that Idaho was where we wanted to raise our kids. I loved looking out my window and seeing the temple. It was in Idaho that I gained an appreciation for the American flag. I wondered how people from different states could feel so much animosity towards each other when we had all been saluting the American flags our whole lives. Aren't things people have in common supposed to unite them? Why had saluting the American flag not taught us all to be united? It was Idaho that got me through a long two year struggle of waiting for Michael on his mission. It was Idaho that was always inspiring me to be better...
Utah is first and foremost, the place where my parents met. It's the place my family went to for the rare and precious visits to see my Grandma and Grandpa Fish. I have always felt I had deep roots in Utah, even though I never had the chance like my siblings to spend much time there--I've always loved coming back. Utah to me, is the land of the red earth and the snow. Utah is the home of the most beautiful mountains... It's the land of the evergreens I've always loved so much. It's the land where nearly every plant has a smell you can remember it by. It's the land of the plush green wonderful grass I have ALWAYS been jealous of, living in Texas. Because while Texas grass is good for making sounds with between your hands... it'll never compare to the feeling of Utah's grass slipping between your toes. Being in Utah so far has taught me how to better understand and appreciate the grid system, because while it doesn't necessarily keep me from getting lost, it does help when I'm trying to get un-lost. Utah reminds me of home, because I see diversity. I walk down the street and see people of every shape and color and size and fashion sense--members and nonmembers alike. And the thing I love most about being in Utah is knowing that I'm walking down streets of history. When I'm in Utah, I feel closer to the past of the church. I feel like everything really is true, because this is where it all happened. I just know that I have to believe, and that there is a reason why I believe on my Savior.
I love Texas. But I love it because it's my home. I love it because it's where my family is. I love Texas because that is where most of my memories are. I love Texas because it's where I found my love for the Gospel. So if you're from New York or Arizona, Washington or Florida you should love your home state just as much as I love Texas, for those reasons alone, if not more. And I think we should all respect each other for that love and for the reasons that love is founded on.
I believe that every place we ever step foot in is filled with a million reasons for us to love being there. I believe we should respect every reason why people love their homelands and even foreign lands. I believe we should love all people. I believe we should never judge a person for their passions. I believe we should feel more love for America than we do for our own states so that we can actually have that feeling of unity with all our peers no matter where they were born.
In high school I returned to public school system and learned that all of a sudden we had a new pledge I'd never heard before: The Texas Pledge ... which goes a little something like this:
"Honor the Texas flag. I pledge allegiance to thee, Texas. One state under God, one and Indivisible"I was so confused. I had no idea what people around me were saying or what I was supposed to be saying. And I thought it was utterly ridiculous to be pledging allegiance to a state. Most people now a days are lucky if they even live in one place for more than five years. Most people live in multiple states during their life time and barely think twice about it. For a long time I refused to say the Texas pledge because I thought it was dumb. But it grows on you I suppose. And I think it was that pledge more than most things in my life that instilled in me a love for Texas. Just hearing it every day. Showing that we do respect our flag and our history and that it is a part of everyone who grows up in Texas. It made me feel like I was a part of something bigger. And I think that everyone should feel that way about something.
But you know what really did it? It was leaving Texas that taught me Texas pride. When I first came to Idaho, I encountered a lot of hate. And that's really what I have to call it. I was getting harassed on a weekly if not daily basis for being a Texan. I had to put up a front for Texas pride in order to shield myself from all the things people were saying to me. It was a survival mechanism. And I just didn't understand it. What gave anyone the right to bash on the place I grew up in? Where my family lived? Where my home was? People focused so much on where you were from. Left and right all around me there were comments like "Iowa, who lives in Iowa?"... and the list went on with North Dakota, Ohio, Nevada etc... and I noticed immediately that no one had any pride for their own state. And I thought that was the weirdest concept. You grow up somewhere... somewhere filled with memories of your family, your friends and your religion. How do you not feel some kind of love for where you're from? I never thought loving Texas would be a problem because I thought everyone loved their home state and everyone would understand my love for Texas because they could relate it to how much they loved Idaho or Montana or Michigan or what have you! And I don't see why they shouldn't love their home state as much as I love Texas! In that respect, I don't think Texas is any different from any other state! And if I raise my children somewhere besides Texas, which I feel I most likely will... I want them to have pride for whatever state they grow up in! With a little Texas pride thrown in for dear old mom!
When I got to Idaho, I wondered why everyone thought all the cowboys came from Texas... because I sure knew a whole lot more people who acted like what people expected "Texans" to act like while I was in Idaho than I ever did in Texas. I came to love Idaho quickly. I loved the cold weather. I loved the spirit I felt there. I loved seeing horses and cows and donkeys and llamas. I loved meeting people who actually went hunting and lived off the land. I loved how clean things were. I loved making memories with roommates and with Michael. I loved deciding with Michael that Idaho was where we wanted to raise our kids. I loved looking out my window and seeing the temple. It was in Idaho that I gained an appreciation for the American flag. I wondered how people from different states could feel so much animosity towards each other when we had all been saluting the American flags our whole lives. Aren't things people have in common supposed to unite them? Why had saluting the American flag not taught us all to be united? It was Idaho that got me through a long two year struggle of waiting for Michael on his mission. It was Idaho that was always inspiring me to be better...
Utah is first and foremost, the place where my parents met. It's the place my family went to for the rare and precious visits to see my Grandma and Grandpa Fish. I have always felt I had deep roots in Utah, even though I never had the chance like my siblings to spend much time there--I've always loved coming back. Utah to me, is the land of the red earth and the snow. Utah is the home of the most beautiful mountains... It's the land of the evergreens I've always loved so much. It's the land where nearly every plant has a smell you can remember it by. It's the land of the plush green wonderful grass I have ALWAYS been jealous of, living in Texas. Because while Texas grass is good for making sounds with between your hands... it'll never compare to the feeling of Utah's grass slipping between your toes. Being in Utah so far has taught me how to better understand and appreciate the grid system, because while it doesn't necessarily keep me from getting lost, it does help when I'm trying to get un-lost. Utah reminds me of home, because I see diversity. I walk down the street and see people of every shape and color and size and fashion sense--members and nonmembers alike. And the thing I love most about being in Utah is knowing that I'm walking down streets of history. When I'm in Utah, I feel closer to the past of the church. I feel like everything really is true, because this is where it all happened. I just know that I have to believe, and that there is a reason why I believe on my Savior.
I love Texas. But I love it because it's my home. I love it because it's where my family is. I love Texas because that is where most of my memories are. I love Texas because it's where I found my love for the Gospel. So if you're from New York or Arizona, Washington or Florida you should love your home state just as much as I love Texas, for those reasons alone, if not more. And I think we should all respect each other for that love and for the reasons that love is founded on.
I believe that every place we ever step foot in is filled with a million reasons for us to love being there. I believe we should respect every reason why people love their homelands and even foreign lands. I believe we should love all people. I believe we should never judge a person for their passions. I believe we should feel more love for America than we do for our own states so that we can actually have that feeling of unity with all our peers no matter where they were born.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Telling the World
This, my friends, is my new favorite song. I think it's got something for everyone! Besides, the video really makes me want to see the movie Rio.
Monday, May 2, 2011
Untold History
I found out today that Osama Bin Laden is now dead upon declaration by President Barack Obama. I'm not really sure what my thoughts on the subject are, but I was told I should record the historic moment. So I will keep my comments at that and comment instead on a similar figure in our history.
I believe everyone here recalls the controversial figurehead of Iraq, Saddam Hussein. Americans were trained to hate him through every media reference we ever saw come over the internet, newspaper or television. And fair enough, he was notorious for terrorizing his own people, murdering millions, and torturing many more. However I'd like to offer an alternative perspective we might consider.
I once knew a woman named Gretel Bingham, daughter of Raoul Wallenberg, a famous Swedish humanitarian who saved tens of thousands of lives issuing passports to Jews and housing them during the Holocaust. If you look into the history of this honored man, you will find no record of him having a daughter. Gretel Bingham was born and raised in Sweden while her father was hiding under ground and no record was made. When she was just seven years old she was sent off with all the other children in a large ship in order to keep them safe during this time of war. The ship was torpedoed and all of Gretel's documents were lost. Holding on to floating pieces of wreckage she was saved by a passing ship some time later and given passage to Portugal where she was adopted by a family there. I will not go into the long and detailed story of her life or how she came to the United States or how I made her acquaintance because that is a subject for a very long novel I haven't the expertise to write. However...during the long span of her life she spent time in Iraq and worked for Saddam Hussein in his palace. I have strong memories of Gretel ranting about American tabloids and the injustice done to his name. I had a hard time understanding her at the time because it seemed very clear to me that he was a bad man. But I believe I have come to understand a little better now. Saddam Hussein was kind to Gretel. She described him as a gracious, kind man with a wonderful family and a beautiful palace. She was absolutely enthralled with his sons and never saw anything but the characteristics of a good and firm leader when she saw the figure of Saddam Hussein.
I suppose our first reaction is to question her awareness of the many things he did while leading his country, but I believe Gretel had a point. Saddam Hussein may have been a bad leader, but no one on this earth is devoid of good qualities. My mother once told me something that taught me a great lesson. A person is not what their actions suggest. You can hate their characteristics, or their personality, or their actions, but you cannot hate any individual. Because as an individual on this earth, they are a son or daughter of God. That is who they are even if they don't know it, or seem miles away from that beautiful potential. But as a son or daughter of God we all have come to this life with the light of Christ.
Let this story be an example of the wide difference our choices can make. Our actions may not go down in history. Most of the choices we make in any given day are unknown to anyone but ourselves. But God knows. How different could the lives of Saddam Hussein or Osama Bin Laden have been had they known their potential; had they known how to magnify that light of Christ instead of hiding it beneath the bushel of dictatorship or terrorism? How different can our lives be if we choose to magnify and testify of our knowledge of Christ, instead of glorifying the power of man?
Love God. Love your heritage. Testify always.
I believe everyone here recalls the controversial figurehead of Iraq, Saddam Hussein. Americans were trained to hate him through every media reference we ever saw come over the internet, newspaper or television. And fair enough, he was notorious for terrorizing his own people, murdering millions, and torturing many more. However I'd like to offer an alternative perspective we might consider.
I once knew a woman named Gretel Bingham, daughter of Raoul Wallenberg, a famous Swedish humanitarian who saved tens of thousands of lives issuing passports to Jews and housing them during the Holocaust. If you look into the history of this honored man, you will find no record of him having a daughter. Gretel Bingham was born and raised in Sweden while her father was hiding under ground and no record was made. When she was just seven years old she was sent off with all the other children in a large ship in order to keep them safe during this time of war. The ship was torpedoed and all of Gretel's documents were lost. Holding on to floating pieces of wreckage she was saved by a passing ship some time later and given passage to Portugal where she was adopted by a family there. I will not go into the long and detailed story of her life or how she came to the United States or how I made her acquaintance because that is a subject for a very long novel I haven't the expertise to write. However...during the long span of her life she spent time in Iraq and worked for Saddam Hussein in his palace. I have strong memories of Gretel ranting about American tabloids and the injustice done to his name. I had a hard time understanding her at the time because it seemed very clear to me that he was a bad man. But I believe I have come to understand a little better now. Saddam Hussein was kind to Gretel. She described him as a gracious, kind man with a wonderful family and a beautiful palace. She was absolutely enthralled with his sons and never saw anything but the characteristics of a good and firm leader when she saw the figure of Saddam Hussein.
I suppose our first reaction is to question her awareness of the many things he did while leading his country, but I believe Gretel had a point. Saddam Hussein may have been a bad leader, but no one on this earth is devoid of good qualities. My mother once told me something that taught me a great lesson. A person is not what their actions suggest. You can hate their characteristics, or their personality, or their actions, but you cannot hate any individual. Because as an individual on this earth, they are a son or daughter of God. That is who they are even if they don't know it, or seem miles away from that beautiful potential. But as a son or daughter of God we all have come to this life with the light of Christ.
Matthew 7:11
....If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?Saddam Hussein was a man just like any of the rest of us. And I'm sure he knew how to give good gifts. He knew how to be a leader. He knew how to love. He had the light of Christ. I believe this is a part of history untold. How fitting that it would come from Gretel Bingham, a woman who's history has no documentation--whose story will not be recorded in history.
Let this story be an example of the wide difference our choices can make. Our actions may not go down in history. Most of the choices we make in any given day are unknown to anyone but ourselves. But God knows. How different could the lives of Saddam Hussein or Osama Bin Laden have been had they known their potential; had they known how to magnify that light of Christ instead of hiding it beneath the bushel of dictatorship or terrorism? How different can our lives be if we choose to magnify and testify of our knowledge of Christ, instead of glorifying the power of man?
Love God. Love your heritage. Testify always.
Sunday, May 1, 2011
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