Return to Rexburg

The past couple months I've spent a lot of time dwelling on whether or not I wanted to finish a four year degree, and whether or not I'm supposed to be a teacher. I have a lot of talents that mold well to the role of being a teacher but that doesn't necessarily mean that teaching is the career I'm meant to have. I spent a lot of time dwelling on the many possibilities I could choose or look into as a possible major... and how long each major would take to complete. I'm not one for academics, so my first strategy was to choose the first major I found that I could complete in the fewest amount of semesters. However, I then stumbled across a tool on BYU Idaho's website that gave a description of the interests and values found in each major. And all of the majors I had been considering were all of a sudden thrown out the window because I held none of the interests or values that seemed to be attributed to them.


I stumbled across some new possibilities... but I haven't decided yet if I entirely feel like they match what I feel I should be doing with my life. So I probably won't bring up any specifics until I feel more confident in what I'm going to do... but for now I feel peace on that search.


Besides that, my other main struggle has been deciding where I wanted to live in the Fall. My schedule of flip--flopping has gone between Texas, Provo, Logan, Idaho Falls, Rexburg, and Kenya. I got so excited at the prospect of going to Kenya, but for now atleast it isn't meant to be. But I also think that the process taught me some things about myself. So desiring to go was still a worthwhile endeavor. After ruling Kenya out of my list of options, everything else seemed to dull in comparison.


But I finally decided about a week ago that I wanted to return to Rexburg. Finding housing seemed daunting. Because I haven't been accepted back to BYU Idaho, I can't live in student housing and most community in Rexburg is reserved for married folk which makes the monthly price average around $500 a month... which for a single person is way too expensive! But through much searching I found a place that I'm pretty sure I will be able to afford. I texted the owner just yesterday and told her I'd take it! Only thing is, I won't have any roommates. So I'll have to have lots of external friends, or I won't have much of a social life!


My contract ends on the 12th so I'll probably leave either that day or the day before and either go straight to Rexburg or hang out for a little while in Logan. The fall semester I plan on just working. The winter semester I hope to move back into student housing and start back up with school again. Anyway, there's your basic summar of what's going on with Emily. My major life crises have been put at bay for the time being and I'm just crossing my little fingers that I'll find a job within my first week or two in Rexburg. Otherwise, I'm not sure where I'd go from there!


Here's hoping.
I'm excited to be in Rexburg again. I've always felt at home there.

Cherish Every Moment

We all need a past - that's where our sense of identity comes from.

Penelope Lively


Getting to know someone else involves curiosity about where they have come from, who they are.

Penelope Lively

I believe in asking questions. Some may say that I'm overly inquisitive. Some may say that I'm excessively observant. But to me, it's all part of making people a part of my life. If I truly care, then I want to remember everything. It's part of cherishing every moment of my life, of my time with individuals. Because I never know when the day will come, that I won't be near you. And for as long as I can, I want to be able to remember how you get up in the morning, or how you walk, or how you put on your shoes, or how you smile when you step outside into the sunlight, and how you expressed your love for me in even the simplest of ways.

I've never been good at getting to know new people during social outings because the trouble is that I simply don't care. Which probably sounds bad, but I'm not actually curious about where they have travelled, or what experiences that have had in life. I feel hollow when I do ask, so I refrain from asking so as to remain true to myself. Which probably gives people the impression that I am either stand off-ish, conceited, or shy. But I also believe the opinions of others only matter when we let them influence our opinions of ourselves.

I'll never understand people trying to forget where they've been, or who they've been with. I understand that sometimes we have to distance ourselves from some memories in order to heal or change... But I hope never to forget any person I've loved, or any experience that helped me be who I am now. And I don't believe anyone should. We can only be ashamed of our past if we did not learn something from it that made us better today.

And I believe that we should be willing to answer any question to an inquirer that is truly asking because they are curious about who we are. Because we should allow others the opportunity to cherish every moment with us, just as we are holding onto our memories of them.

Live every moment--every relationship in the here and now. Never hold on to anything that inhibits you from progressing.

Around the World

The last couple weeks, I have wanted to travel. I think this is something that a lot of people think they want at some point in their lives, and yet most people live their whole lives without even leaving the country they were raised in. Some people travel because they have the time, and the money. They travel for pleasure. See the sights, and leave. That has never appealed to me.

I left the country once in high school. Went to China. And all we really did, was see the sights. And I can't remember much about the trip because of it. Everyone knows I like to take pictures. You'd think I would be in to seeing the sights and taking pictures of everything. But I'm not. I'll do just about anything for a picture. But you know why that is? It's because I believe in making memories. And I believing in keeping those memories once they've been made.

I don't think anyone should go anywhere without a specific purpose in mind. I don't go to church just to go... I go with the purpose in mind of being uplifted and learning something I didn't know, or on a deeper level than I did before. I go to school to learn things and to apply those things to my own life so that I can use that knowledge for the benefit of someone else.

The past couple weeks, I decided I wanted to leave the country. In trying to decide where I would go, I asked myself where I thought I might do the most good. I didn't want to go somewhere just to go there, for the sake of being able to say "I've been to Ireland" or anything like that. The thought was not appealing in the least. Instead, I placed my thoughts and energies on the country of Kenya.

I can see myself there. I can see myself working in the orphanage I was accepted to volunteer in. The thought of devoting myself to serve the people of Kenya fills my soul and makes me want to cry with joy. My heart yearns to serve.

This is what I mean by having a purpose. Why go anywhere if you are not going to immerse yourself in something that will allow that country to touch you and become a part of who you are? Why do anything if it isn't to improve the life of someone else?

Anyway, those are my thoughts on traveling the world. Right now it appears that venture is slightly impractical and doesn't work well with the budget... but the notion still fills my thoughts and my hopes.
And I still desperately want to go.

I hope everyone has the chance to go somewhere and touch lives, and that your life will be forever touched as well.