When I started seeing a therapist again a few years ago, my initial attitude was cynical, albeit hopeful. I remember leaving the initial interview feeling satisfied that I had been thorough and honest in my answers, but thinking “Good luck figuring out which of my many issues is the root cause of what’s making me screwed up these days. Lots of options to choose from, good luck lady!” The end result was not what I would have guessed that first day. Mainly because I wasn’t ready to hear it. But that’s another story.
Towards the end, my therapist finally put forth the suggestion that it seemed to her that the way I was expressing my struggles was akin to an addiction and she thought it would be an appropriate step for me to attend the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints’, Addiction Recovery Program (ARP). My initial reaction was that in some ways I could understand the comparison but that it was more like a symbolic comparison. I felt that I didn’t really have an addiction, it was just an analogy. But I went along with it because I had received the prompting that what I needed most was to better understand the Atonement. And the Church’s ARP program is built around the Atonement. So I felt like it would be a good environment for me to learn in. My perspective later changed, but not before attending for several months.
My first meetings were anticlimactic. I still didn’t understand why I was there. I felt awkward and that I didn’t fit in. And I wasn’t sure why I should keep going. I spoke during the sharing time portion mainly because I’m stubborn and didn’t want to fit into some stereotypic mold of the new guy who takes a while to say anything.
But I felt prompted tonight to share that as I continued to go to those meetings... as I opened my mind to what was being shared, as I began to feel the spirit again through the purposeful change in my priorities and choices to study the manual and the scriptures, and as I continued to come to peace with my own flaws and truths, and acknowledge them... I began to see more and more how the Atonement factors into those meetings and the manual far deeper than just the simple concept of forgiveness as we often attribute to the word “atonement”.
I began to see how that manual can be used to walk you back from the brinks of unbelief. Applied with an open mind, the ARP manual can help re-activate a lost testimony. The ARP manual can help anyone and everyone over come bad habits of any kind (addiction or not). The ARP manual speaks with a voice of love that can make you feel loved and understood when you don’t feel like you even deserve love anymore. The ARP manual in some ways feels like Christ speaking to me, with more love and direction than I’ve felt before when reading something. Which just goes to show that it was written with inspiration. It’s about looking for the things that apply to you, which, done with the company of the Holy Ghost can steer you to improving yourself in ways you hadn't even thought of yet. And admittedly, I have had to read the manual multiple times for different things to stand out to me each time.
So, if you are struggling with testimony. The ARP manual may be a place to turn.
If you are struggling with faith, the ARP manual may be a place to lean on.
If you are struggling with making healthy habits (be it spiritual or secular), and of course, eliminating unhealthy ones, the ARP manual can help you make the right choices.
And I think importantly, it can help you overcome battles between guilt and shame.
It all ties back into scriptures and directions from the Prophets, of course, but with a specific focus and prescription for action that helps to facilitate change.
I may not be attending the ARP meetings right now, but do I think that I will end up going back again one day? Yes. Do I think that I am still in need of healing and the judgement free love and support found in those meetings? Yes. I miss that. I have seen so much positive change in my life and the lives of others through this program, I know it could help each and every one of you no matter how small your goal for self improvement if you only let it work in you. I know I need a lot of self improvement and I know I could yet apply this program a hundred new ways in my life. And I should probably start sooner than later, as should we all.
.:ARP Manual:.
