You can learn a lot about someone's life by learning about their past. But the one thing I think everyone should come to understand at some point in their life is that you cannot judge a person by their past. By Christ's judgement alone will our hearts be judged. For man, it is our task to forgive, and as we have all heard... to forgive is to forget. You cannot learn about their present self, by learning about their past. Sometimes learning about someone's history is critical in understanding their perspective in life. But it still doesn't tell you anything about them in this very moment. Because everyone grows from experiences differently. Give me two people with the same history and they will still be very different people because they will have chosen to react to that history in a different way.
Everyone has the choice of deciding how they will react to every trial and blessing in their life. We also have the choice of whether or not we decide to grow from those experiences or allow them to push us back.
But it's a choice.
Always a choice.
Friday, December 17, 2010
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Face Cards
I don't really feel like going into an in depth analysis or debate on this subject at the moment, but it was on my mind so I figured I'd say a thing or two about it.
My mother feels that face cards are of the devil. And yes, she will say it with that level of linguistic force. I personally am not necessarily one to side with this strict an opinion but I can relate certain aspects of the concept and agree on certain aspects.
Like the internet or money, I believe that things can be used for good or bad purposes. Face cards in and of themselves are not evil. Although, I wouldn't recommend debating that with my mother because let me tell you... that is one sure fire way to get on her bad side for a very long time. But I believe what face cards stood for in the days she grew up in is evil. Gambling, addiction, casino life... none of it is good. I also believe they were the video games of that generation. They encourage addictive behavior, and limit social skills when over indulged upon.
However, I believe that some card games encourage social interactions and can actually help people bond in a life-time setting. I enjoy a good game of Apples to Apples, or Pit because the social interaction is fun. I actually feel like I'm getting face time with my friends while playing those games... not getting face time with the institution of rules and strategy.
But growing up I took my mother's accusations very seriously. And whether or not I agreed with her I felt that it was important to respect her wishes. I grew up telling my friends I didn't play card games, so I never played. I have no mind for card games and those who have tried to teach me will testify that I'm definitely a slow learned and have never gotten past the point of being incompetent.
If caught in the mood... I'll try anything once. But if I don't enjoy it, or don't feel like the social interaction from the game is genuine, I won't play it again.
But as a general rule? I pretty much don't play card games. I dislike most all of them
My mother feels that face cards are of the devil. And yes, she will say it with that level of linguistic force. I personally am not necessarily one to side with this strict an opinion but I can relate certain aspects of the concept and agree on certain aspects.
Like the internet or money, I believe that things can be used for good or bad purposes. Face cards in and of themselves are not evil. Although, I wouldn't recommend debating that with my mother because let me tell you... that is one sure fire way to get on her bad side for a very long time. But I believe what face cards stood for in the days she grew up in is evil. Gambling, addiction, casino life... none of it is good. I also believe they were the video games of that generation. They encourage addictive behavior, and limit social skills when over indulged upon.
However, I believe that some card games encourage social interactions and can actually help people bond in a life-time setting. I enjoy a good game of Apples to Apples, or Pit because the social interaction is fun. I actually feel like I'm getting face time with my friends while playing those games... not getting face time with the institution of rules and strategy.
But growing up I took my mother's accusations very seriously. And whether or not I agreed with her I felt that it was important to respect her wishes. I grew up telling my friends I didn't play card games, so I never played. I have no mind for card games and those who have tried to teach me will testify that I'm definitely a slow learned and have never gotten past the point of being incompetent.
If caught in the mood... I'll try anything once. But if I don't enjoy it, or don't feel like the social interaction from the game is genuine, I won't play it again.
But as a general rule? I pretty much don't play card games. I dislike most all of them
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Funerals
I went to my friend Jelly's mother's funeral yesterday. Though, since it's only 1 in the morning, it feels like today. Before the funeral, I tried to tell myself that it wouldn't affect me. I really didn't know Vanessa very well, but I have known her since I was a little girl. It's been atleast 10 years now I suppose, probably more like 12 or 13.
I'll never forget playing hide and seek with Vanessa, who was blind... I hid in the dryer. She found every one else in the house but me. It made everyone smile and laugh when I popped out. Only Emily would do something like hide in the dryer.
I don't cry easily when people die. I guess for the most part I tell myself it's okay, because I'll see them again. But I suppose from experience I have started to learn something about myself. It just takes a little time.
When my Grandmother died on my father's side, I was visiting my friend's house in Idaho. My cell phone had died, and I didn't figure anyone would be trying to get ahold of me in the first few days after leaving Texas, so I wasn't worried about charging it. My sister Kathy found my friend on Facebook and sent her a message. Lindy told me I needed to call my sister... which scared me to death because I couldn't think of any possible reason why she would be telling me this. I plugged in my phone and listened to all the many voicemails left on my phone in the last two days, before calling my sister. When all the talking was done, Lindy came up to me and gave me a hug, then asked if I was going to be okay. I said yes. She asked if I was certain, I wasn't going to meltdown on her. I thought I would be fine.
My grandmother and I were not close... to make it the understatement of the century. I don't remember the last time she spoke directly to me actually. I didn't think it would affect me. But lo and behold, many hours later when the whole house was asleep, it hit me and I cried. It's not that I missed her, because there really wasn't anything to miss... but she was family. And that meant that I loved her even if I never felt like she loved me back. Or believed in me.
I cried at Vanessa's funeral. It's not that we were close... Because like I said, I didn't know her all that well... but she was a wonderful woman. She knew the gospel was true with every single fiber in her being. And everyone knew it. She could make you smile just by saying your name or greeting you with a smile. She always made everyone feel special. She had the most beautiful spirit I will ever know. She touched everyone she met. And I believe everyone loved her that knew her even the slightest bit. And she loved everyone right back.
I'll never forget playing hide and seek with Vanessa, who was blind... I hid in the dryer. She found every one else in the house but me. It made everyone smile and laugh when I popped out. Only Emily would do something like hide in the dryer.
I don't cry easily when people die. I guess for the most part I tell myself it's okay, because I'll see them again. But I suppose from experience I have started to learn something about myself. It just takes a little time.
When my Grandmother died on my father's side, I was visiting my friend's house in Idaho. My cell phone had died, and I didn't figure anyone would be trying to get ahold of me in the first few days after leaving Texas, so I wasn't worried about charging it. My sister Kathy found my friend on Facebook and sent her a message. Lindy told me I needed to call my sister... which scared me to death because I couldn't think of any possible reason why she would be telling me this. I plugged in my phone and listened to all the many voicemails left on my phone in the last two days, before calling my sister. When all the talking was done, Lindy came up to me and gave me a hug, then asked if I was going to be okay. I said yes. She asked if I was certain, I wasn't going to meltdown on her. I thought I would be fine.
My grandmother and I were not close... to make it the understatement of the century. I don't remember the last time she spoke directly to me actually. I didn't think it would affect me. But lo and behold, many hours later when the whole house was asleep, it hit me and I cried. It's not that I missed her, because there really wasn't anything to miss... but she was family. And that meant that I loved her even if I never felt like she loved me back. Or believed in me.
I cried at Vanessa's funeral. It's not that we were close... Because like I said, I didn't know her all that well... but she was a wonderful woman. She knew the gospel was true with every single fiber in her being. And everyone knew it. She could make you smile just by saying your name or greeting you with a smile. She always made everyone feel special. She had the most beautiful spirit I will ever know. She touched everyone she met. And I believe everyone loved her that knew her even the slightest bit. And she loved everyone right back.
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Of Anniversaries
Michael and I started dating December 2, 2007. Seems like yesterday... and it seems like eternity. I've been in the mood to relive things we did... and there's not a lot I can do. Trail of Lights for instance is now pretty much nonexistent. Michael and I had our first kiss after taking a walk down the Trail of Lights. We'd been dating for nearly a month. Thinking about it makes me miss him. Although I suppose that doesn't necessarily say much since sometimes I think just about everything makes me miss him.
I've been kind of slack about writing him of late. I need to get better about that. Time just keeps passing before my eyes... and yet it seems to travel ever so slowly. Funny how things work that way.
Maybe I'll make myself hot chocolate over a sterno can just to remember him by, this holiday season. That'd be tender.
I've been kind of slack about writing him of late. I need to get better about that. Time just keeps passing before my eyes... and yet it seems to travel ever so slowly. Funny how things work that way.
Maybe I'll make myself hot chocolate over a sterno can just to remember him by, this holiday season. That'd be tender.
Friday, December 3, 2010
R Rated Movies
Someone asked me at a football game a few month back, why LDS members (or as you might remember.. "Mormons") don't watch R rated movies. The easiest answer is because the prophet told us not to, and so in the effort to be obedient, we follow his counsel.
But many of us also know that in trying to answer this question to those inquiring... this sometimes doesn't feel like enough of a response or explanation. I was thinking about it today while I was driving, and my thought process went something like this:
Sometimes I am tempted to watch R rated movies. But then I remember how I am already affected by the themes and content that are presented in the PG13 movies that I do allow myself to watch. Movies influence us. Perhaps we don't always see it... but I do. Why would you watch movies presenting themes of sex and violence and language... When you have made a commitment not to break the law of chastity? When you have vowed not to have sex before marriage? When you do not believe in being a violent being? When you are training yourself to avoid the foul language you already hear so much in your every day surroundings?
Everyone's heard the question "My average day at highschool would be rated higher than that movie, why not see it?" Or something along those lines... But I present the following analogy: I may step in a pile of dog crap every day of my life. I don't enjoy it, but I get use to it because it's part of my daily routine. However, does this mean I would opt to swim in it every weekend as well?
We all choose role models. I don't know about you, but I make sure that my role models are examples of people who represent what I want to be one day. If my goal in life is to become like Christ... why would I choose to immerse myself in media that supports sex, drugs, and foul language?
I don't watch R rated movies because I know that the themes presented in them do not support the person I am trying to be. Their inappropriate content makes me feel uncomfortable with myself because I know that by watching them I would be untrue to myself. By this principle... it stands to reason that I don't even watch some PG13 movies because the same is true. It's not about the rating. It's about the content. It's about what that content represents... and it's about whether or not I have the will to control the petty desires of the natural man.
So, when your friends come up to you and ask "Why don't you watch R rated movies?" You need to ask yourself.. "Why don't I watch R rated movies?" Because the answer that matters most is the reason that keeps you going strong in your resolve. And for those of you that may be the person asking that question, instead of the one being asked...
Remember, that these people are your friends. No matter their reason, it is their choice. I believe one of the most important qualities in friendship is being able to respect and honor the values our friends embrace. If they believe in something, with all their heart... you have to respect that. Doesn't mean you have to agree... and it doesn't mean they are going to judge you for not living your life by the same principles..
It just means that as friends... we love each other for every piece that completes the puzzle of who we are. Every piece.
But many of us also know that in trying to answer this question to those inquiring... this sometimes doesn't feel like enough of a response or explanation. I was thinking about it today while I was driving, and my thought process went something like this:
Sometimes I am tempted to watch R rated movies. But then I remember how I am already affected by the themes and content that are presented in the PG13 movies that I do allow myself to watch. Movies influence us. Perhaps we don't always see it... but I do. Why would you watch movies presenting themes of sex and violence and language... When you have made a commitment not to break the law of chastity? When you have vowed not to have sex before marriage? When you do not believe in being a violent being? When you are training yourself to avoid the foul language you already hear so much in your every day surroundings?
Everyone's heard the question "My average day at highschool would be rated higher than that movie, why not see it?" Or something along those lines... But I present the following analogy: I may step in a pile of dog crap every day of my life. I don't enjoy it, but I get use to it because it's part of my daily routine. However, does this mean I would opt to swim in it every weekend as well?
We all choose role models. I don't know about you, but I make sure that my role models are examples of people who represent what I want to be one day. If my goal in life is to become like Christ... why would I choose to immerse myself in media that supports sex, drugs, and foul language?
I don't watch R rated movies because I know that the themes presented in them do not support the person I am trying to be. Their inappropriate content makes me feel uncomfortable with myself because I know that by watching them I would be untrue to myself. By this principle... it stands to reason that I don't even watch some PG13 movies because the same is true. It's not about the rating. It's about the content. It's about what that content represents... and it's about whether or not I have the will to control the petty desires of the natural man.
So, when your friends come up to you and ask "Why don't you watch R rated movies?" You need to ask yourself.. "Why don't I watch R rated movies?" Because the answer that matters most is the reason that keeps you going strong in your resolve. And for those of you that may be the person asking that question, instead of the one being asked...
Remember, that these people are your friends. No matter their reason, it is their choice. I believe one of the most important qualities in friendship is being able to respect and honor the values our friends embrace. If they believe in something, with all their heart... you have to respect that. Doesn't mean you have to agree... and it doesn't mean they are going to judge you for not living your life by the same principles..
It just means that as friends... we love each other for every piece that completes the puzzle of who we are. Every piece.
Nicknames Continued
My sister commented on my last blog, about nicknames! So I thought I should include the story to which she somewhat referenced. When I was about three and a half, my very first nephew was born...thus making me an aunt. But if ya'll aren't aware... in Texas, "Aunt" is pronounced, "Ant." At the mere age of three and a half years however, this fact was lost on me. My sisters and my mother informed me shortly before dear Andrew was born, that I would soon become an "ant" ! I very clearly remember being in the backyard when this happened, walking on the sidewalk that circled our pool. I wrinkled my face and crinkled my nose in response.
"I don't want to be an ant! Ants bite me!"
"I want to be a rolly polly!"
Rolly pollies were my favorite... and they will forever hold a special place in my heart, as I believe they do in the hearts of most everyone. My sisters tried to explain that they meant "aunt" and not "ant" and that it would be rather silly for my nephews and nieces in the future to call me "rolly polly emily" instead of "aunt emily" but I was quite adamant on the issue and stated the obvious.
"They'll just have to get over it!"
Atleast that's how I remember it going.
Now adays, most of my nephews and nieces just call me Emily. I'm pretty close in age to most of them, at least relative to the age gaps I share with my own siblings... so calling me Aunt is really far too formal and impersonal. Atleast in my opinion. Although on the off occasion, they will call me "Auntie Em, Auntie Em!" But always with a smile on their faces ;)
"I don't want to be an ant! Ants bite me!"
"I want to be a rolly polly!"
Rolly pollies were my favorite... and they will forever hold a special place in my heart, as I believe they do in the hearts of most everyone. My sisters tried to explain that they meant "aunt" and not "ant" and that it would be rather silly for my nephews and nieces in the future to call me "rolly polly emily" instead of "aunt emily" but I was quite adamant on the issue and stated the obvious.
"They'll just have to get over it!"
Atleast that's how I remember it going.
Now adays, most of my nephews and nieces just call me Emily. I'm pretty close in age to most of them, at least relative to the age gaps I share with my own siblings... so calling me Aunt is really far too formal and impersonal. Atleast in my opinion. Although on the off occasion, they will call me "Auntie Em, Auntie Em!" But always with a smile on their faces ;)
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