It is difficult to describe what my life is like now a days. I usually work 9 hours a day, 5 days a week and sometimes more. And "talking shop" seems a bit dull. But I really don't do much else with with my days. I usually sleep in, although I have thought about getting up earlier and perhaps working out a little bit in the mornings. Some days I watch a movie in the morning, or bum around. Occasionally something REALLY exciting happens... and I go grocery shopping. Some days I bike to work, and some days I get a ride with Ann when we are on the same shift.
While at work I sit at my computer and often twiddle my thumbs trying to think up things to do on the computer during the slow moments of the day and minutes pass by slowly in boredom. Sometimes the girls in the office chat but I have a hard time with that because part of me wishes I could make friends out of some of the girls, and so I want to share parts of my personal life... but part of me wants to keep my personal life more separate from the work environment so its not part of the drama that is our office. But how do you make friends, if you never share anything about yourself? And what if there's only a couple of girls in the office I feel comfortable sharing things with... but the whole office is listening to every conversation... at all times? No privacy. It's a conundrum.
Some of the reps can be fun to talk to on the phone and you occasionally get a real conversation out of it amidst the requests for the customer's personal and order information. Those can be fun phone calls, but I feel wary of flirting reps and feel nervous about walking a thin line between friendly professional conversation, and non professional interactions. I'm not looking for anything personal to happen with any sales reps right now... and I don't know that I ever could do that whether or not I had interests elsewhere. Although I do find entertainment in watching other girls in the office building relationships with sales reps over the phone.
Lately the highlights of my day are the moments when Michael gets online and we get to chat for a while during the slow moments of the day while I'm at work. But eventually he'll find a job, and those hours of our socializing will probably dwindle and we'll have to find a different time of day that works for us.
I've been looking for work in Rexburg. I'm still considering staying in Provo if I can keep the job I have right now and decide that I can do it for another 4 months. But I also think it would be simpler to just move to Rexburg. I'm ready to feel more stable. Which is partly why it's tempting to stay in Provo for another semester... and partly why I'd prefer to go to Rexburg and then just stay there. Lots of variables and reasons tie together to make up why I'd like to be in either place... but I do need to decide so I can find housing. It's just hard because most places that are hiring right now... want someone to start right now, not in 3 months. And moving anywhere without any kind of job security scares me a bit.
The only things I know right now, are that I need to broaden my horizons. I need to go to sources I wouldn't necessarily go to normally. I need to depend more on the Lord, and I need to have faith. But I also have to take actions toward the things I think are right, and toward the things I want right now; short term and long term goals.
No comments:
Post a Comment