Loving Yourself

Now, this is a subject I've probably touched on before... but I think it's at least been a year or two so it's okay if I touch on it again. Besides, I think it's an important thing to talk about.

We talk a lot about loving others. We talk a lot about putting others before yourself. We talk a lot about being charitable and grateful. However, I think that a lot of those qualities are dependent on another quality. I pose the following question:

"How can you love someone else, if you do not first learn how to love yourself?"

No, I'm not talking about having everyone learn how to be vain. However, I think that someone who does not love themselves cannot be mentally healthy enough to fully love those around them. This might be a difficult concept for me to describe... hm hmm...

Well, when I was in middle school I became extremely self conscious about how I looked. I entered that phase where I thought everyone was judging me all the time (and everyone was going to notice that zit on my face. I'm sure you recall the feeling). It certainly didn't do wonders for my self esteem which was already in a pretty broken state at the time. I realized however, that the people I thought were the most beautiful and magnetic were those that held their head high. You could feel the self confidence emanating from them and it made them prettier than they otherwise might have been.

This might seem silly but I decided that I wanted to have that quality. So I made a goal to look myself in the mirror every day and say "You are beautiful. I am beautiful." I certainly didn't believe it, so don't think it was some act of vanity (hah). I certainly felt a little silly talking to myself in the mirror. But by saying it every day for a while, it taught me several lessons. For one thing, it boosted my spirit and self confidence. Hearing the words, and forcing myself to describe myself in that way improved my own self image. And because I had a better image about myself I was able to view the world in a different way. I didn't have to worry what others thought about me anymore, because I didn't care. I loved myself each day, so I didn't need to feel accepted by anybody else but me. It allowed me to listen to others, without worrying what they were thinking about me.

Not a perfect analogy to what I'm trying to say about loving yourself, but I think it's a step in the right direction to depicting the principle. I guess to summarize... I don't think you can fully love others before you're able to love yourself. It's kind of like that line in the scriptures that says (and I paraphrase), if you then being imperfect are able to give good gifts, imagine the gifts your Father in Heaven can give. Attempting to show others love without first understanding how to love and forgive ourselves is putting a limitation on the love we will be able to demonstrate for others. And why would we ever want to limit the amount of love we can give to others?

I don't feel like I've fully illustrated the principle I'm trying to depict... I feel like it makes more sense when I say it out loud. But I hope some of you are able to feel some of the importance I feel about this subject. I don't think we can reach our own potential as Children of God before we are able to love ourselves. One of the qualities listed in the Doctrine and Covenants of those that reach the Celestial Kingdom of Heaven is that they are able to see as God sees. I think that part of learning to love yourself is learning to see yourself as God sees you. Imagine what a blessing that would be!? And if we could see ourselves in that light, when we seem to judge ourselves more harshly than we would anyone else... imagine how we would then be able to treat others, viewing them as God sees them also! So you see, I don't mean for us to love ourselves in a selfish way... but in a way that would provide us with the skills we need to improve our interactions with the people in our lives.

If there was ever a universal goal we all should make... I think it should be to add loving ourselves to our list of talents.