Intimacy is an interesting thing. I think there are a lot of people who don't truly understand it's meaning or it's purpose. In the beginning of a relationship, we tend to think of physical advances as a way to communicate that we're interested in making the relationship more serious. Personally, I'd tend to argue that it should be the other way around. Assuming your relationship is being built upon some foundation of friendship, trust, and care... and not intended to be purely physical... I think that the physical side of a relationship should really be more like... a symptom. Physical intimacy is like sneezing or coughing when you have a cold. It's a natural side effect that starts happening. You don't force yourself to do it.
This isn't to say of course that just because your body is telling you to go somewhere, that you should, "because it's a natural side effect." That's not what I'm saying. Obviously I believe in restraining those impulses until the time when it is appropriate, such as, within the bounds of matrimony (depending on what level of intimacy you're referring to).
However, I think this is an important distinction. It means that being physical with someone will not create a good foundation for your emotional and spiritual relationship with that person. Sure, it may create a false sense of trust and security for a time, but the foundation will not be there. Your relationship will eventually collapse if you were attempting to build the emotional and spiritual facets of your relationship on top of your physical relationship. Rather, if you build your emotional and physical relationship with this person, they will slowly become your partner, and those facets of your relationship will create the foundation necessary to lift each other up for eternity. Those facets of your relationship will ignite the trust and love necessary to have a healthy physical relationship with someone.
I tend to think that it is wrong to attempt being physical with someone in order to prove your emotional and spiritual relationship. Being physical proves nothing. Just like sneezing doesn't indicate having a cold. It could be allergies. You're probably thinking that's an odd analogy by now, but oh well. It's working for me.
Anyway... I've probably beaten the horse dead by now. I just wanted to hit on the importance of the fact that we should all place our emotional and spiritual relationships with people first. Without them, we won't have the foundation necessary for anything else.
Sunday, March 24, 2013
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
Chocolate
I love chocolate. Chocolate donuts, chocolate ice cream, chocolate truffles, chocolate chips, chocolate milk, chocolate cake, brownies, fudge, cookies, candy... Chocolate. Creamy chocolate. Savory chocolate. Rich chocolate. Smooth chocolate. Gooey chocolate. It melts in your mouth, and it warms up your soul.
People always say you can't take your material possessions with you to heaven... and I'm alright with losing the money or the tv or the car, or whatever else you can think of... but I'm pretty sure there's a reason why we have taste buds. Heavenly father gave them to us for a reason. Why eat food, and not taste things? And why taste things, if not to appreciate them? Well, I'm here to say... that I appreciate chocolate. Heavenly Father gave us the blessing of having taste buds, and I intend to make them my closest buddies, and appreciate tasting good things. And among all the things I love.. like butter, peaches, cream, brisket, french fries, cheesy broccoli, scalloped potatoes, chowder, gravy, honey, shrimp, et cetera.... I fully intend on appreciating them. And chocolate.
People always say you can't take your material possessions with you to heaven... and I'm alright with losing the money or the tv or the car, or whatever else you can think of... but I'm pretty sure there's a reason why we have taste buds. Heavenly father gave them to us for a reason. Why eat food, and not taste things? And why taste things, if not to appreciate them? Well, I'm here to say... that I appreciate chocolate. Heavenly Father gave us the blessing of having taste buds, and I intend to make them my closest buddies, and appreciate tasting good things. And among all the things I love.. like butter, peaches, cream, brisket, french fries, cheesy broccoli, scalloped potatoes, chowder, gravy, honey, shrimp, et cetera.... I fully intend on appreciating them. And chocolate.
Sunday, March 3, 2013
Baby News
Well, I don't think I've posted about the baby yet, so I suppose I should! On Tuesday I'll be 28 weeks pregnant (7 months). That means I have only 12 weeks left until my due date... depending on which due date you're using since every time I go to the doctor they switch back and forth between the 25th and the 27th, and the ultra sound people have told me that the 28th of May is actually more accurate. Personally, I'm siding with the 28th since I like that number more, and hey, why not go along with the people actually looking at the baby, and not just taking a stab at when I conceived?
So, on May 28th (in theory of course) I'm supposed to be due for a baby boy. It's a bit of an odd concept really. My body is certainly bigger. I'm certainly not as flexible as I once was. And I do see my tummy tumbling like there's something inside rolling around in there. Fortunately for me, when he gets super excited about kicking, he seems to prefer the right side of my stomach, so I don't get kicked in the ribs very often, which is nice.
But it's still my body, ya know? I have a hard time conceiving of the idea that a little baby will come out and have expectations that I will hold it somewhere other than inside the womb! Something that is currently part of me but one day won't be? I mean let's just be honest here--that's weird! It's not like I look down at my hand and think to myself "One day, you won't be apart of me, but someone else," right!? Well, it's almost the same thing looking down at your stomach and thinking "One day the reason why you're huge, will be a separate being from myself." Yep. That's weird. Some days it feels like my stomach will just always look this way, and it will never change. It was just some new progression in life, like going through puberty. But that's weird because then you have to wonder... well... why would I just plain be huge forever? That's silly, and it would be oh so lame.
People always ask how I'm doing, and I guess I'm doing fine. I try to drink lots of liquids, remember my prenatals, and occasionally eat something besides chocolate. Hah, just kidding =p haha.
And I guess the other question people always ask is "Are you excited?" Which I think is kind of a weird question. Kind of like when you get married and people ask, "How's married life?" and even if marriage life sucked, you'd have no choice but to respond "Oh it's good," because otherwise it'd be awkward, right? I think it's more of a secret test to see if you'll mess up and talk about your marital issues with someone other than your husband, since everyone knows you're not supposed to do that. What a weird society we live in. Anyway, to answer the question "Are you excited?" I guess my response is, that for once in my life, I seem to be enjoying the present moment. I'm content with feeling the kicks, and watching my stomach grow, and if I'm content with meeting the kid when it's time to cross that bridge, then life will be good. That's not to say that on occasion I don't look over at our crib or the car seat or the stroller and imagine some cute little scene playing out in the future... but that's beside the point. And let's be honest, who doesn't want to see Michael hold a baby? Tender.
Right now what I'm most excited for is moving into our new apartment. I've kind of been feeling lately like I need a fresh start, and moving in and rearranging furniture and finding a place for everything always makes you feel like your life is in the right place when you're done. When you finish, you feel like not only is your house in order, but your life is too. My manager at work has asked me several times during the course of my pregnancy if I have started "nesting" yet. Apparently lots of women get obsessed with cleaning shortly before the baby comes? Anyway, I think moving into the new apartment will fulfill my nesting responsibilities and will just plain help me feel fresh and ready for something new. I've told Michael that we'll need to buy a dresser because the closets in the two bedroom apartments here are ridiculously small. They barely hold my clothes, let alone allowing for Michael and I to share a closet. I'm not sure how people manage. And there's nothing like real furniture to make you feel grown up and ready for kids.
Lately I've just been trying to focus on the logistics. I'm definitely beginning to feel the need for maternity clothes. One of my friends recently gave birth, and managed to wear her normal clothes her entire pregnancy. So I was crossing my fingers I could be just like her. But I'm not sure that wish is going to come true. The other big thing on my mind is how much time I'm going to take off work. Of course it's complicated by the fact that Michael is looking for internships, and whatever kind of work schedule he ends up having will effect the kind of work schedule I can have. Part of me has a hard time imagining taking a lot of time off work and spending so much time at home... but part of me realizes that I might want to just stay home lol. I'm also having to look at adjusting my school schedule because I can't just stop working permanently right now... and I can't do work, and be a full time student, and be a full time mom. I don't think the three combined are even possible. So... yep, the planning of the future is a complicated process at the moment. But we did get our insurance all sorted out. I know how much we'll end up spending on delivery of the baby, and I'm supposed to get my Medicaid insurance card sometime this week. So at least some things are figured out.
Anyway, that should be enough details to satisfy any curiosity you might have had about my pregnancy experience, haha. Hope you're all having a wonderful life!
So, on May 28th (in theory of course) I'm supposed to be due for a baby boy. It's a bit of an odd concept really. My body is certainly bigger. I'm certainly not as flexible as I once was. And I do see my tummy tumbling like there's something inside rolling around in there. Fortunately for me, when he gets super excited about kicking, he seems to prefer the right side of my stomach, so I don't get kicked in the ribs very often, which is nice.
But it's still my body, ya know? I have a hard time conceiving of the idea that a little baby will come out and have expectations that I will hold it somewhere other than inside the womb! Something that is currently part of me but one day won't be? I mean let's just be honest here--that's weird! It's not like I look down at my hand and think to myself "One day, you won't be apart of me, but someone else," right!? Well, it's almost the same thing looking down at your stomach and thinking "One day the reason why you're huge, will be a separate being from myself." Yep. That's weird. Some days it feels like my stomach will just always look this way, and it will never change. It was just some new progression in life, like going through puberty. But that's weird because then you have to wonder... well... why would I just plain be huge forever? That's silly, and it would be oh so lame.
People always ask how I'm doing, and I guess I'm doing fine. I try to drink lots of liquids, remember my prenatals, and occasionally eat something besides chocolate. Hah, just kidding =p haha.
And I guess the other question people always ask is "Are you excited?" Which I think is kind of a weird question. Kind of like when you get married and people ask, "How's married life?" and even if marriage life sucked, you'd have no choice but to respond "Oh it's good," because otherwise it'd be awkward, right? I think it's more of a secret test to see if you'll mess up and talk about your marital issues with someone other than your husband, since everyone knows you're not supposed to do that. What a weird society we live in. Anyway, to answer the question "Are you excited?" I guess my response is, that for once in my life, I seem to be enjoying the present moment. I'm content with feeling the kicks, and watching my stomach grow, and if I'm content with meeting the kid when it's time to cross that bridge, then life will be good. That's not to say that on occasion I don't look over at our crib or the car seat or the stroller and imagine some cute little scene playing out in the future... but that's beside the point. And let's be honest, who doesn't want to see Michael hold a baby? Tender.
Right now what I'm most excited for is moving into our new apartment. I've kind of been feeling lately like I need a fresh start, and moving in and rearranging furniture and finding a place for everything always makes you feel like your life is in the right place when you're done. When you finish, you feel like not only is your house in order, but your life is too. My manager at work has asked me several times during the course of my pregnancy if I have started "nesting" yet. Apparently lots of women get obsessed with cleaning shortly before the baby comes? Anyway, I think moving into the new apartment will fulfill my nesting responsibilities and will just plain help me feel fresh and ready for something new. I've told Michael that we'll need to buy a dresser because the closets in the two bedroom apartments here are ridiculously small. They barely hold my clothes, let alone allowing for Michael and I to share a closet. I'm not sure how people manage. And there's nothing like real furniture to make you feel grown up and ready for kids.
Lately I've just been trying to focus on the logistics. I'm definitely beginning to feel the need for maternity clothes. One of my friends recently gave birth, and managed to wear her normal clothes her entire pregnancy. So I was crossing my fingers I could be just like her. But I'm not sure that wish is going to come true. The other big thing on my mind is how much time I'm going to take off work. Of course it's complicated by the fact that Michael is looking for internships, and whatever kind of work schedule he ends up having will effect the kind of work schedule I can have. Part of me has a hard time imagining taking a lot of time off work and spending so much time at home... but part of me realizes that I might want to just stay home lol. I'm also having to look at adjusting my school schedule because I can't just stop working permanently right now... and I can't do work, and be a full time student, and be a full time mom. I don't think the three combined are even possible. So... yep, the planning of the future is a complicated process at the moment. But we did get our insurance all sorted out. I know how much we'll end up spending on delivery of the baby, and I'm supposed to get my Medicaid insurance card sometime this week. So at least some things are figured out.
Anyway, that should be enough details to satisfy any curiosity you might have had about my pregnancy experience, haha. Hope you're all having a wonderful life!
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