Something Missing

Over the years, I have more than once, come to a situation in which I struggle. I struggle to the point that I feel like I can't do it alone. The independent in me responds to that with a lot of pride, and says that I need to buck up, stop being a baby, rub some dirt in it, and just move on--no drama--no need for anyone to know about it but me.

There's another part of me, that says the best friendships can only be fostered in allowing people to see you when you are vulnerable. You have to be willing and able to open up to people. You also have to be able to let your pride down and be willing sometimes to let other people help you.

On the flip side, there are some things we have to do on our own, and should be able to do on our own.

This is a scale that I find very difficult to balance. When do you let your guard down, and let people help you... and when do you buck up, and work through it on your own?

This is my default setting, stumbling between these two options. But, I think there's something missing in that equation. Part of what's missing, is the Lord, the atonement. We can't do everything on our own, and that's something we all have to realize. However, there are also things that we cannot do even with the help of our friends. And so if those are the only options we allow ourselves, then there will be some things we will never be able to do. And I know that for me personally, that is something I just can't accept. I don't believe in the "glass ceiling." I want to be able to do anything I set my heart on.

My weakness then, is factoring in the atonement. Christ suffered in Gethsemane for our sins, our sorrows, and our struggles... he is what fills the gap between perfection, and man's imperfection.

I need to strengthen my testimony of the Atonement's ability to work in my life and not just everybody else's. I need to remember Christ's powerful desire to come and lift me up when I have fallen--to bless me when I am in need.

because the Church.. is True.

Helaman 4: 12-15; 22-26