And what I realized today is that that represents a faulty perspective. While I wouldn't necessarily say that I am grateful for the pain caused by the mistakes I've made or the trials I've faced, and do not relish the idea that my children may face/cause similar pain and that realistically I have very little control over those possibilities... On more than one occasion I have felt grateful for who I have become, and what I have been able to accomplish (the friends and acquaintances I have been able to help) because of those experiences. And who am I to wish that my children will not have experiences that in the long run, positively affect their growth as human beings, and as sons and daughters of God? Obviously my kids will make mistakes. Obviously they will face trials. Whether or not they are the same ones I faced is realistically irrelevant. What matters, I decided... or what I should actually hope for my children, is that whatever their mistakes/trials may be... I hope they will learn from those experiences. I hope they will learn what they need in order to use them for the good of those around them.
On a somewhat related note... or at least.. I connected the two ideas when presented with them today. In church today, we discussed the article “Be Ye Therefore Perfect — Eventually” by Jeffrey R. Holland, addressing the concept in the scriptures of being perfect. And by that, I refer to the scripture in Matthew 5:48 reading "Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect."
I don't know about other religions, but this seems to be something that an awful lot of Mormons beat themselves up over. I've been commanded to be perfect, and so far I'm sucking at it, and don't have much hope for achieving it tomorrow either kind of thing. Because we obsess over the modern definition of perfection meaning flawlessness. But, someone in church today referenced a scholar who has researched the original translations and found that "perfect" is better translated as "whole, refined, healthful, complete, having integrity". She didn't know who it was, but I found the following article that seems to match up with what she was talking about. It's really a very good read regardless of your denomination, so I recommend you pop over and take a look: "Be Ye Therefore Perfect:" The Elusive Quest for Perfection by Frank F. Judd (even if you only read the first few sections, it's still very enlightening but all of it is good). He gives an example that seemed to me, almost comical--that poor drunken Noah, who is described in Genesis as "perfect" ought to illustrate the fact that when the scriptures described him as "perfect" they did not mean flawless. I don't know about you, but this feels like a LIFE CHANGING perspective change when it comes to the instruction to be perfect.
Later the author goes on to say that further examples of words being translated as "perfect" connote being "safe, at peace" and that having a perfect heart implies "a life of complete loyalty" despite whatever mistakes or setbacks we experience. (Meaning, YES you can make mistakes and still be achieve "perfection")
For me personally, this spoke to two things. One, the commandment to be perfect/whole spoke to me on a mental health level. As though the commandment were more along the lines of "take care of yourself, take the time to become whole, be healthy" And it also spoke to the concept of eternal growth.
Referring back to my earlier subject of my children learning what they need from their experiences... I think this ties in rather well. We can either experience trials and think, well that sucked, my life sucks, and it's not fair, and "why me, God?" kind of feelings... Or we can use those experiences to be more whole. To become more well-rounded. To develop new strengths, to turn our weaknesses into strengths. We cannot become whole without the experiences this life provides us. Essentially, we are commanded to grow. To take something from what we have experienced each day and use it to fill in one more piece of the puzzle that Heavenly Father has envisioned for who we are capable of being. Religious or not, I think we can all relate to the idea of each experience we have as being things that expand the whole of who we are throughout our lives. And one hopes that we continue that expansion throughout our lives. Someone at church made a comment alone those lines of.. even if I screwed up today, I can decide to be just a little bit better tomorrow. And if every day I'm a little bit better, then it'll be okay. I would also like to point out, that we cannot become whole without relying on Christ and the Atonement. So to be whole, is also a commandment to allow Christ to help us with the slack of our shortcomings.
One last comment, on a bit of a soap box semi-related note.. I heard a few comments today that implied that when we achieve "perfection" we will be practical carbon copies of God. Think like him, talk like him, etc etc. And I seriously disagree. And maybe they didn't mean for their comments to come across exactly the way I took them.. But I think it refers more to being free from anger, lust, hate... it refers to being on message with God, "faith, love, repentance, truth" etc... Having the same qualities and virtues as God is not the same as being a carbon copy of him. I will always be me. I will always be unique. And God will never strip me of that even in "perfection." We can be one in purpose and devotion without being carbon copies of Him or anyone else for that matter.
Anyway, I leave you with a quote from Brigham Young, found in the article I shared above.
"To be as perfect as we possibly can, according to our knowledge, is to be just as perfect as our Father in heaven is. He cannot be any more perfect than He knows how, any more than we."If we are doing the best we can each day, then we are following the commandment to be like Him. I wish for my children to be whole. To grow every day into who they are meant to be, and to keep finding new pieces of themselves from now, and forever. And I think that's what God wants for us too, as His sons and daughters.
1 comment:
There is a saying on one of the plaques at work that says something along the lines of "The greatest thing I can hope for as a mother is that my children will walk in truth." I think that you are right that it doesn't matter which trials they go through, but if they choose to look to God through all their trials and continue to grow in righteousness, then that is the best we can hope for.
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