Jesus Paused

This post is a sequel to the post titled "Come (pause) Follow Me" so if you haven't read that one, you may want to read it first, for context. 

We have one of those "little golden books" that focuses on the Story of Jesus. Some time after writing the blog entry about pausing after we come to Jesus, before we can follow him, I was reading this little golden book to my youngest daughter. One page of this book stood out that had never stood out to me before. 

I'll go ahead and share just a snippet of the scripture reference for the story:

"And Jesus being full of the Holy Ghost returned from Jordan, and was led by the Spirit into the wilderness, being forty days tempted of the devil."

Luke 4: 1-2

The thought that came to me, that I've never had before, was that Jesus Paused. I suppose I've always thought of this story as an example of Jesus being beyond amazing, because he was that guy that fasted and prayed for 40 days. Something I never intend to do, because I'm not that amazing. Right? I've acknowledged that it's an example of Jesus being tempted... but at the same time never really given Jesus his due for this story. It always felt something like... "okay, he was tempted, but not REALLY tempted... because he's Jesus." Right? I think that we don't give Jesus credit when we assume that he was tempted but not really tempted. I am reminded of a quote from a book I read recently:

"I mistook a candle flame for temptation, and I was unprepared when it became a raging wildfire stealing oxygen from the air." (Tender Leaves of Hope: Finding Belonging as LGBTQ Latter-day Saint Women by Meghan Decker)

I suppose I had always assumed that Jesus only faced that "candle flame" of temptation, and never a "raging wildfire," which seems unfair in retrospect. People always say "Jesus understands how you feel, he felt temptation too." And in my head that was always followed by the caveat "yeah, but only sort of." We have to acknowledge that in order to truly understand how we feel, we have to assume that he experienced being overwhelmed by temptation. 

But what I also find interesting to note here is that Jesus was "led by the Spirit into the wilderness." We often talk of time in the wilderness as a "time of trial" for biblical characters. And the Spirit led him there. He needed this time before he could go forth and truly begin his ministry. He needed to pause. He needed to wrestle with his feelings, wrestle with God, wrestle with Satan. He needed those experiences before he could be firm in his resolve, before he could be ready to face the upcoming trials like the Cross.

A quote, from Ben Schilaty that I also find applicable here is 

"It is Christlike, to not want to do hard things."

Upon the cross, Jesus prayed that if it be possible, the cup might be removed. He was overwhelmed by the trial he was facing. He was facing unmeasurable grief and pain, and he didn't want to do it. 

I think it is powerful to remember that it is Christlike to feel temptation. It is Christlike to pause. It is Christlike to wrestle with the path God has laid out for us. It is Christlike to not want to do it. It is Christlike to feel like it's a little unfair. And yet, it is Christlike to feel those things, and still choose to follow God anyway.