Rexburg 2011

Where I live this year!

Pita Pit

On another note, Ann and I went to Pita Pit yesterday and I actually really enjoyed it. I think I will have to make several more visits to this land of food in the coming weeks and months!

And currently... I am craving chowder. I am going to make chowder on Monday I think. Because Monday is the day I will go shopping, and I will get all the necessary ingredients and make CHOWDER! And it better be amazing, or I will be so sad.

Cabin Fever

I'm pretty sure I need to find some excuse or another to get out of my house more often than I currently am. I will go crazy if the only things I ever do are go to school, come home, and occasionally go to the grocery store. Pretty sure I've been more irritable than necessary lately. Of course there's always the option that it's the thyroid stuff coming back with irritability coming back as one of it's stupid systems... but for now we're going to completely ignore that option! Haha.

I think I'll have to start going off-grid like I have in previous semesters. On the BRIGHT side.... (get ready!) ..... (you're not ready!!)

RAD starts this week!!! That will be such a happy day. RAD always puts me in the best of moods. And it will mean that I'm leaving the house to do something I absolutely love, twice a week!! Isn't that so happy? =) Matthew always told me last year that I needed some hobby that allowed me to vent energy. And I told him I had RAD! Hahaha.. Except last year RAD wasn't quite enough. Probably in part because they screwed up the schedule so many times that half the time I couldn't go because I didn't know when it was being held that week. Dumb, I know.

Anyway, for now, I'm still on my 4 day weekend. Though Monday after I go shopping I'll probably have to pull out the homework. As much as I hate to admit it.

PS! Chuck returns on Tuesday. Yet another thing that will light up my life! haha

V peace V

Zodiac Signs

I'm kind of a big fan of this whole Sidereel Zodiac thing.
http://www.syracuse.com/have-you-heard/index.ssf/2011/01/did_your_zodiac_sign_change_ce.html

According to the sidereel zodiac I am now a LIBRA! But according to the western zodiac I am still a Scorpio. I love scorpio of course and I still feel I possess many of the characteristics that is described for Scorpios. But when I read Libra I think I connect EQUALLY as much and probably more.

You can be the decider.... which do you think is more Emily? Or which characteristics would you select for me from each? ^_^

http://www.astrology-online.com/scorpio.htm
http://www.astrology-online.com/libra.htm

Of Letters

I finally got a letter from Michael today. It seems like it's been so long. I was really starting to have a hard time with it. Not like all the time or anything, just when it came to mind... and sometimes I just felt sad without really being able to understand why. I really was not feeling all that well a few days ago and I couldn't pinpoint it... But the last day or two I think I started putting together the pieces. And I knew it wasn't anything personal... you know... It was just cuz he knew I had changed addresses and he didn't know my address yet. And apparently they decided to hold off many many weeks or months worth of my mail or something! Ridiculous. So when he made a trip to Adelaide he got a great big stack. I'm glad. I was starting to worry what was happening to the letters I was sending because I felt like a lot of his letters for the past while had hints of "What are you up to?" and "Haven't heard from you in a while" and "I hope you've been doing well" kind of comments... And I felt bad! Even though it obviously wasn't my fault he wasn't getting my letters.

And I missed him. Hearing from him. His handwriting. The spirit of him and the Lord that comes with each of his letters.

I was getting ready today to talk dear friend and roommate, Ann, today and have a small whining session about it, and possibly cry... and then I got my letter! And it made me happy.

I'm not gonna lie, I'm nervous for when he comes back. I got into my class that I needed to graduate this semester, and so the plan is to go home in April which would mean I'd be home when Michael gets back... but it's a little scary, ya know? And my Ann friend has brought up staying in Rexburg with her in the spring more than once. And I'm not gonna lie, it's tempting. For one, I love Ann. For two, I do love Rexburg summers. And for three, part of me thinks maybe it would be a more natural reunion with Michael to see him a little later so it's not like this immediate thing within a week of him getting home... Like time would take away some of the pressure that's built up. I really can't explain how I feel either way, but I am nervous.

It feels like time is beginning to shrink. In the long term sense at least. Each individual week at school still seems to take an eternity.

Anyway... yeah.. there's my life =)

Privacy

I think everyone knows that I'm really not that private of a person. I like being as open as I can... so far as I believe I can trust a person. And I hate that society today might dictate me having to make precautions like this but I just decided that no matter how personal what I put up here may or may not be... there are some people I'd just rather not have access.

Now I'm just hoping I don't get approached by anyone I didn't give permissions to... that I'd rather not give that permission to... because I really don't know how prepared I am to deal with that.

Movies

My taste in movies is eclectic. And to some extent... it's not something that anyone can really understand. I like your average movies... chick flicks, comedies, action, drama, whatever. But every now and then I go for a good depressing movie. I believe it gives me a wider perspective on life. Every life takes a different path, and some may seem more glamorous than others, but I think it's important to realize that every life has its trials. And each trial is tailored to you. So no matter the trial we face, we can make it work out.

A movie can be happy or sad. Sometimes both. And happy movies are wonderful things. I love the state of mind you're in after a really good happy movie. Give you hope. But how much thought does it inspire? When I watch a sad movie, (and I do use "sad" as a very weak and vague term in order to refer to a wide variety of movies such as tragedies, abuse stories, etc) ... I am forced to think. I finish that movie and I wonder, "What if it was me?" "How would I react to a situation like that?" "Would I react as well, or as poorly, or better?" "How am I the same? How am I different?" I think about the emotional turmoil and what must be going through the characters heads. I want to connect with them. On many levels, I do connect with them... and that is important to me.

If a movies doesn't make you think... it was just a fluff piece, used to fill up your time. And that's okay. But sometimes... you should pick a movie that will make you think.

Past and Present

You can learn a lot about someone's life by learning about their past. But the one thing I think everyone should come to understand at some point in their life is that you cannot judge a person by their past. By Christ's judgement alone will our hearts be judged. For man, it is our task to forgive, and as we have all heard... to forgive is to forget. You cannot learn about their present self, by learning about their past. Sometimes learning about someone's history is critical in understanding their perspective in life. But it still doesn't tell you anything about them in this very moment. Because everyone grows from experiences differently. Give me two people with the same history and they will still be very different people because they will have chosen to react to that history in a different way.

Everyone has the choice of deciding how they will react to every trial and blessing in their life. We also have the choice of whether or not we decide to grow from those experiences or allow them to push us back.

But it's a choice.
Always a choice.

Face Cards

I don't really feel like going into an in depth analysis or debate on this subject at the moment, but it was on my mind so I figured I'd say a thing or two about it.

My mother feels that face cards are of the devil. And yes, she will say it with that level of linguistic force. I personally am not necessarily one to side with this strict an opinion but I can relate certain aspects of the concept and agree on certain aspects.

Like the internet or money, I believe that things can be used for good or bad purposes. Face cards in and of themselves are not evil. Although, I wouldn't recommend debating that with my mother because let me tell you... that is one sure fire way to get on her bad side for a very long time. But I believe what face cards stood for in the days she grew up in is evil. Gambling, addiction, casino life... none of it is good. I also believe they were the video games of that generation. They encourage addictive behavior, and limit social skills when over indulged upon.

However, I believe that some card games encourage social interactions and can actually help people bond in a life-time setting. I enjoy a good game of Apples to Apples, or Pit because the social interaction is fun. I actually feel like I'm getting face time with my friends while playing those games... not getting face time with the institution of rules and strategy.

But growing up I took my mother's accusations very seriously. And whether or not I agreed with her I felt that it was important to respect her wishes. I grew up telling my friends I didn't play card games, so I never played. I have no mind for card games and those who have tried to teach me will testify that I'm definitely a slow learned and have never gotten past the point of being incompetent.

If caught in the mood... I'll try anything once. But if I don't enjoy it, or don't feel like the social interaction from the game is genuine, I won't play it again.

But as a general rule? I pretty much don't play card games. I dislike most all of them

Funerals

I went to my friend Jelly's mother's funeral yesterday. Though, since it's only 1 in the morning, it feels like today. Before the funeral, I tried to tell myself that it wouldn't affect me. I really didn't know Vanessa very well, but I have known her since I was a little girl. It's been atleast 10 years now I suppose, probably more like 12 or 13.

I'll never forget playing hide and seek with Vanessa, who was blind... I hid in the dryer. She found every one else in the house but me. It made everyone smile and laugh when I popped out. Only Emily would do something like hide in the dryer.

I don't cry easily when people die. I guess for the most part I tell myself it's okay, because I'll see them again. But I suppose from experience I have started to learn something about myself. It just takes a little time.

When my Grandmother died on my father's side, I was visiting my friend's house in Idaho. My cell phone had died, and I didn't figure anyone would be trying to get ahold of me in the first few days after leaving Texas, so I wasn't worried about charging it. My sister Kathy found my friend on Facebook and sent her a message. Lindy told me I needed to call my sister... which scared me to death because I couldn't think of any possible reason why she would be telling me this. I plugged in my phone and listened to all the many voicemails left on my phone in the last two days, before calling my sister. When all the talking was done, Lindy came up to me and gave me a hug, then asked if I was going to be okay. I said yes. She asked if I was certain, I wasn't going to meltdown on her. I thought I would be fine.

My grandmother and I were not close... to make it the understatement of the century. I don't remember the last time she spoke directly to me actually. I didn't think it would affect me. But lo and behold, many hours later when the whole house was asleep, it hit me and I cried. It's not that I missed her, because there really wasn't anything to miss... but she was family. And that meant that I loved her even if I never felt like she loved me back. Or believed in me.

I cried at Vanessa's funeral. It's not that we were close... Because like I said, I didn't know her all that well... but she was a wonderful woman. She knew the gospel was true with every single fiber in her being. And everyone knew it. She could make you smile just by saying your name or greeting you with a smile. She always made everyone feel special. She had the most beautiful spirit I will ever know. She touched everyone she met. And I believe everyone loved her that knew her even the slightest bit. And she loved everyone right back.