Sending off Paula

Well today I said goodbye to my best friend Paula. It almost feels more real when I'm not around her that she's leaving. I think about it and my throat restricts. I went over to her house around 2, arrived ten minutes later. She was on the computer with Dallan. Her mother was who answered the door, even before I got to the door lol.
We didn't do much really. Paula and her mother looked through my little scrap book that I made for Paula.. and just kinda took a tour of her room "empty" which pretty much looks the same as it does with her stuff in it. And we sat around and talked a little.. and got on her computer so she could show me pictures and I could make her watch my awesome Target ad video. Every now and then her mother would call down asking if she forgot some item, which paula had indeed forgotten lol. Hopefully she doesn't forget my scrap book! =)
At 3:00 or soo.. her mother came downstairs telling Paula it was time to go say goodbye to grandma.. which kind of threw us for a little loop since we were expecting to sit around for another hour.. but Paula and I walked out to my car and talked for a little bit before her mother and Dallan said I could drop her off, and they were just going to drive away and leave her lol. So Paula and I hugged, and she got in my car and I drove her around the corner! ^_^ We hugged goodbye, one last time, and paula waved goodbye to me as she walked into her grandma's house. Paula was a real sweetie about it.

I'm not sure when exactly it'll feel really real that she's gone.. but for now.. I'm still sad about it.. even if it'll prolly hit me the most when she's not there on sunday. And Michael won't be there either. I was tempted to stop by starbucks on the way home and use my giftcard that I got in NY to get a shake or "blend" or whatever they call it.. but I was a little low on gas so I decided not to.. but I really want ice cream... and all we have is a tiny container of sugar free banana nut or something.. and you know how hard sugar free ice cream always is.. makes it almost not worth the effort.. who knows maybe I'll splurge and go buy myself icecream ...
we'll see.