Soon to Say Goodbye

I've been back in Austin for a week or so now. But on New Years, January 01, 2010 I return back to Idaho for good. This semester I'm taking

Drawing I
Art Seminar
Old Testament
Class Piano Instruction Level I
Introduction to the Visual Arts
State and Local Government

I'm living in a set of apartments near the gym! Which is pretty exciting, I think! Feel free to email me and I can give you my new address. I'm so excited to leave... I need to finish packing... but I'm sooooo ready to leave. I miss the lovely people I know and love in Idaho, and I just miss the place. It makes me feel better, no matter what may be wrong in my life. I just love the place. And somehow, I feel like it will make me feel closer to Michael, at least for a time, because of the memories we have together in Rexburg.

I love you all, my Texas friends, and I shall miss heaps, as Michael might say!
I look to the day I shall see you once more.

Idaho!

So, I am back in IDAHO! Just for a week, to be at Lindy's wedding, but still. I love the snow. And I just love Idaho, so much. Snow, blankets the leafless trees, and all the evergreens. A thick hazy fog ensnares the land in a beautiful scene of wintry wonderland. I just love it. "I do not feel the cold, Brother!" comes to mind! I just love it so so much.

I cannot even express the desire I have, to get married, and live here, and to raise my children here. It's like all I want in the whole wide world. It's so beautiful. And there's just a feeling in the air... I really can't explain it, but there is love in the air here. It's like... sometimes I can feel Michael's presence all around me. I feel very happy and comforted here. I just love it so much. I feel closer to the Lord, when I am in Idaho. I just feel, very uplifted.

I adore Texas, and it forever holds a very large piece of my heart. And I will always love coming home to my beloved Austin, Texas. And I cherish the fond memories of people, friends, and family, that I have there. There's nothing like it.

And so, Texas is my home. And Idaho, is the home for my heart.

Shred

In the past I've always had some shred of hope, that things were atleast supposed to be mutual, and that both sides wanted things to be mutual. I think, that this point, I'll just give up that hope, and see how well I work without it.

Don't Cut The Cord

Best friends can go months, even years without seeing eachother... and when they are once again reunited, it feels like they've barely been apart. Because their friendship was so tight knit, and still is, that it withstands the tests of time.

However, avoidance... is something that damages that cord, that connection. Neglecting a relationship wears thin that connection that enables the endurance of time.

And I don't think there is anything worse than that. No one should ever have to lose a friendship that could have lasted forever, if not for the neglect it suffered. No friendship is "perfect" because its the differences that bring out our tightest bonds. But every friendship is precious, and should be regarded as such.

Reason for Everything

There is a reason for everything. For everything we go through. For everything that happens. Everything we experience. Everything we feel, or express. Life is a course, and it doesn't matter how long we take to finish it... but merely what we can accomplish during the time we spend.

There might be something I have... that I would never want to tell anyone about. But... something happens to me years prior, that helps me to create a relationship with the one person, that can help... and because of the years of history, that person is also the only person I am willing to talk to about it.

Funny ain't it?

Things happen for a reason.

Imagine

Death

Fear of death, I think, is an irrational thing. We know not what [exactly] is coming, and therefore we fear. But fear, like other things... is a state of mind. It is a choice. And we can choose not to feel it, or pay it any heed.

Death is natural. It can even be peaceful.
But it is only peaceful... if it is natural.

Most importantly, death, is Real.

Natural Order

Every relationship has a natural order through which it proceeds. Intimacy, should, in all circumstances, begin at the top. The most shallow parts of the water, so to speak... such as long hugs, holding hands, playing footsie (if you're the type for that), et cetera. Beyond that, everything gets hazy, because the moment you kiss that person, the line gets thinner, and easier to cross, and less visible, until you're actually crossing it.

I knew a guy once... that had his 'natural order' of things, entirely screwed up, somehow. He wouldn't hold a girl's hand, unless they were actually dating. He wouldn't kiss a girl's lips, unless they were actually dating. But he would wrap his arms around your waist. And he would engage in the sweet and tender finger flirtations, if you indulged him and returned any of his attention. He would come up behind you, and put his hands in your back, or front pockets. He might even, kiss your neck, or your cheek. His fingers would graze the skin, beneath your shirt, and even travel, all the way up. And on the random occasion, he might unclasp a girl's bra. And yet, he wouldn't kiss your lips, or actually hold your hand, unless you were dating.

Sound a little messed up to you? Yeah, well, I think most people would agree.

And this is why, there is a natural order to things. Because physical intimacy is a slippery slope, that simply gets steeper, the further you go. And of course, you want to go further, because everyone enjoys going down a hill much more than they do trying to climb back up a hill. Which is why, it is best, to build road blocks for yourself, so that you won't go down, until the time is right. Set up landmarks in your life, like marriage, that dissolve those roadblocks.

6 Months

Today commemorated the 6 month mark, of Michael having been on his mission. 1/4 of the way through... and 3/4ths of the way to go.

peace

pick me up so i can fly.
help me so that i can try.

lift me up where i am strong.
guide me with thy soothing song.

wrap me up in warming fleece.
let me fall to sweet release.



a poem by emily jane

Intimacy of mankind

Have you ever seen two people, two lovers greet... after a long sojourn.. after thinking they might not ever see each other ever again... after losing eachother, or even just after being separated for a long time? No matter the context, though...

It's that moment when you recognize that wisp of hair, or that stately gate, or catch a glimpse of their face... and you take a step forward, before they turn around, and see you.
And you smile, as your heart quickens, as you lengthen your stride to reach them faster. And all of a sudden you're in a warm and tight embrace, with your cheek pressed against theirs, before you turn and nestle your face into their neck or their chest. And you breathe. And you just... can't believe it. And then your heart swells with joy. And there are no words. You know that. And you nearly burst into tears as you grab the fabric of their shirt, holding it tight in your hand... because you never want to let go again. And you just stay there. For what seems like the briefest amount of time. Before you pull apart, and look into their eyes... and then you kiss them. With all the passion and all the love you possess (situation and context allowing of course).

It's interesting, yes? Why don't we go for the kiss first? Because when we love someone, we care for them. And when we love someone, all we really want, is to be in their presence. Once we have that... once we have the opportunity to be wrapped in their arms... that's all that matters. Anything else, is merely an after thought. An expression of our love, in the continuance of our knowledge that words still don't express what we're feeling.

And after the kiss, we nestle our heads back against eachother... before softly whispering the words "I love you" just to make sure we drive it home.

I enjoy the progression we have... as a human race. There's nothing like it.
Words will never fully express our thoughts and feelings, because we are so much more complicated than that. But those words... "I love you" strike deeper than any others. Because we know. We know exactly, every single expression and thought and feeling that we attach to those words. We know. And when you love someone... you know that they know too. And so, it's a near perfect communication.

Food for thought.

Coins

 

Michael's and my combined coin collection. It's growing! We added Australia this month, of course. ^_^ And no, the colored boxes in my handwriting aren't all mine, I just made a bunch of new boxes this week that were more sturdy. But I didn't replace all of them, cuz I like seeing his handwriting in the bunch too. <3

AM not PM

I woke up this morning at 6:40.. and since I NEVER see the clock see 6:40 except at night time, I automatically assumed it was 6:40pm. So I freaked, and got dressed so that I could make it on time for my 7:00 religion class... lol. So, I got up and left the house and drove away. But I forgot my cell phone at home. I got to the Institute of Religion building, and the gate was shut, and no one was there =/ So, I entered in my passcode, and parked, and tried to get in the building... but it was locked. And I was so utterly confused. But I didn't have my phone, and I didn't know anybody's phone numbers, so I couldn't call and be like "What the crap!?" lol

I started driving home, but then I saw a payphone, so I parked, pulled out some quarters and called home, so that my mommy could find my cell phone and tell me Mandy's phone number lol. But then she couldn't find it... so then, frustrated, I drove home, found my phone and called Mandy. No answer. So I texted her. A minute later she called me back...

Mandy was like "What's the story with Institute?" and I was like "Well, I went! And no one was there!" and she was like .. "honey, its morning right now. I'm pretty sure Institute is still happening this evening" and then after much laughter, confusion, and just bleh lol, I understood. Although, it took probably more effort than it should have. I only went to bed last night at like 3AM, so I was working on like 3 and a half hours of sleep lol. I was a little slap happy. Went downstairs, explained to my parents.. and went to sleep. hahaha. Got up around 11 this morning ^_^

I was so confused, you don't even know. While I was driving to Institute, I was like "What did I do today?" thinking I had woken up from a nap or something... and after much hard thought, I determined that I couldn't remember doing anything.. and then I startd to wonder if I had slept the whole day away! And then I was a little frustrated because today is supposed to be my homework day.. and yeah... it was confusing ^_^

what a party haha

Mortality

God has put within our lives meanings and possibilities that quite outrun the limits of mortality.
Harry Emerson Fosdick

In reality, we are all travelers - even explorers of mortality.
Thomas S. Monson

To suspect your own mortality is to know the beginning of terror, to learn irrefutably that you are mortal is to know the end of terror.
Frank Herbert

To take a photograph is to participate in another person's mortality, vulnerability, mutability. Precisely by slicing out this moment and freezing it, all photographs testify to time's relentless melt.
Susan Sontag

Don't fear your mortality, because it is this very mortality that gives meaning and depth and poignancy to all the days that will be granted to you.
Paul Tsongas

Each of us, is susceptible to mortality, and even prone to it. Indeed, mortality is a fatal illness that travails us all, I believe. It is something we ourselves cannot cure. Although we may be able to fight the symptoms for quite some time. Perhaps it can be said, that it is like the common cold. Sometimes, we can't explain where we got it from, and we really can't fix it... but we can give it time, and allow it to pass through its natural cycle.

I believe that we will one day be resurrected, to perfected bodies. The definition of perfect of course, I think is frequently debated. Some think that it will mean midgets will get taller, and that everyone will look like the ideal model version of themselves... But I think part of us receiving perfected bodies, is accepting ourselves as who we are. God made us, and our bodies are therefore perfect. It seems only we are the ones unable to see this. Of course there is probably a fine line to tread with this theory, which I will not try to debate. God's ways are higher than my ways, as his thoughts are higher than my thoughts. So who am I to analyze his patterns?

In my belief, however, that we will be resurrected, that implies that while our body may die for a time, it can always be revived, by the Lord. He may tell me in this instant, personally, that I will have good health... and tomorrow I may find out that I have cancer. Yet, for me, this would change nothing. Because I know that one day, truth will bear witness, and I will have good health. That does not mean I am insusceptible to the common ails of mortality while I am in this life.

I must merely do my best, to take care of myself and others. And respect this body -- this earthly temple... And of course, to always increase our knowledge of our Lord and our Savior. To exercise our faith, and to do the work of God.

Much Needed Break

I've had so much stress lately... that I'm going to take a break. Pick up a favorite book or two.. a couple new ones... get a new library card haha. Cut back on the social activities for a week.. that kind of thing. Just give some time to myself, and also to the Lord.

See how I feel afterwards.

Very much needed break, though.

Apologies. Every. Day.

I suck at life.
Got it.

Sorry for that.

Candle Burning

The first stanza truly spoke to me in reference to my earlier post from today.

"There is a candle in every soul
Some brightly burning, some dark and cold
There is a Spirit who brings a fire
Ignites a candle and makes His home"

Joy

I want to be happy.

I feel like... for months now, I have either been "Okay" or "Not okay" and I never truly experience joy. If I do, it is merely for a moment. All my life I have been the happy person. And I was either GREAT or terribly depressed. I never did mediocre. My emotions were always polar, and never in the middle. And now adays... I'm nearly always in the middle. Any usually I was in a state of joy. Sad things were fleeting.

I don't like this reversal I've come across. Where I'm normally "Okay" or "Not okay" or "Not great" or just "Bad" ... and "I feel amazing" is like this rare endangered species. I don't like it at all. I just want to be happy.

The president of my Texas home Stake, is President Hollingsworth. And he's been in the presidency for as long as I can, even though his position as president, is a new one. And he is just the most amazing man you will even meet. Say... you are standing in the church house talking to some people, and then he sees you, or you see him. Somehow you end up face to face with him, and he just smiles. And you know he is a worthy priesthood holder who is righteous, and full of joy. He just glows, and shines with the light of Christ. Then, he holds out his right hand, with no shame or regret for the fingers that are missing, and you shake his hand. At that moment he will ask you "How are you, sister?" with so much love, bursting and swelling in his voice. And you reply "I'm good." But such and answer simply will not do with President Hollingsworth, and he will respond, "Just good? Not GREAT!?" and if you change your answer to great, then his smile will grow wider, and you can part ways in peace. But if you say "Yeah, just good," then he will look at you with more love, and understanding than you could have ever guessed he might show you, and either ask you what he can do for you, or he will give you some small simple piece of advice, that just makes your heart glow.

And that is part of his testimony. Being good is not enough. Because we have the gospel. We are Divine Children of our Heavenly Father. We are loved. I want to be GREAT. I want to feel AMAZING. I want to once again use that wonderful word, MAGNANIMOUS! I need the blessing of pure joy, consistent joy in my life again.

So now, I must ask the Lord My God, what I am doing wrong, or how many things I am doing wrong. Somehow I must learn how I can be more self reliant, while depending on him more, and giving him my trials and sins. Somehow. But as yet, I don't know how.

My God How Great Thou Art

Nelot A illwa ulys Perelfec olot

Selome elhalow ili elhail vemanil ageled telosc ilrewov elerm alyli fulile.

Silor elry.
Ili suluppulosei jelus tsiluelcka tollif alet hilis weeilk.

Emotional Drain

I'm not sure exactly what it's been today... but I am in a serious emotional drain. I know that it's been piling up for the last couple weeks, and it just simply hasn't gotten better. Probably didn't help that I wasn't productive at all today. I didn't get anything done on my list of things to do... and now have to complete my homework while I simply do not have the energy to care about anything.

Today... I woke up late. And my head just felt groggy all day. I can tell I'm starting to get sick... and it's not a party. Half way through the day, I got a phone call saying that my TSH, T4, T3, and T3total blood results were off the charts of way past normal, and that I definitely need to get back to seeing an endocrinologist. And it didn't really bother me at the time, because I've been experiencing the symptoms for some time now, and therefore already was expecting that answer. It would have been more frustrating for them to say it wasn't back. Because then I'd have to wonder what else is wrong with me.

At this point I just... feel a lack of hope for any of the currently stressing areas in my life. It's like no matter what I do, something's always wrong in my, or someone else's life. Being a young adult sucks. Because we're all growing and changing and being squished and molded... and so we never know who we are. Other than the fact, of course, that most of my closest friends know that they are a Child of God. Which helps. But everything else? Oh it's all changing.

There is no greater misery than having no hope... I'm hoping things will get better after tomorrow... but I have the feeling it will be a slow and steady process instead of just big and instant change.
I just want to be done.

Unconditional

It seems like people love me
Free of any strings
I see it as their folly
But I know the joy it brings

I see that people love me
And I have to wonder why
Even though they love me dearly
And can look me in the eye

They tell me not to worry
And I know it's not a joke
But it's still a little blurry
Why you weren't gone before I woke.

In you I still confide
For in your eyes I cannot err.
They could have all forsook my side
But I know that you still care.

And I thought -- what a pickle
But you continue faithful
Without the slightest struggle
For this love seems unconditional.

~Emily Capps

Friendship

After getting home from conference today... I wanted to prepare, for some things that I've got coming upon me this week. A dear friend of mine, on Saturday, told me that if crying is the simple act that aids me in turning my burdens over to the Lord, then I should just cry. So... I decided that I wanted to watch a good crying movie.

Since it was Sunday... I chose Charly. I wasn't very far into the movie, before that same dear friend texted me to see if I wanted to go to game night. I ended up going, and therefore, obviously did not end up finishing said movie!

But, upon getting home at like nearly 2 in the morning... after doing my usual rounds on Facebook, I started up the movie again... I felt... and still feel, for that matter, very anxious. And therefore, was not exactly in the state of mind to consider actually going to bed.

There's a scene in the movie... where the main guy, just found out about the girl (whom he has recently fallen in love with) and her past, before he knew her. And he's not really sure what to think about it, and he doesn't feel comfortable with it, yet. And his mother comes out, and says the following lines:

"Does knowing about her past change the way you feel about her"
*silence*
"Well, then. She's better off without you, isn't she?"

If we cannot accept people for who they were, are, and can some day become... then we are worth nothing, and should not be worth anything. And we are certainly not worthy of being apart of their lives. No one said it wouldn't be hard. But, assuming we confide only in those we love and trust... no judgement, or pointing of fingers... should ever take place. And if it does... if it is not, or cannot be corrected... Then they are not worth it. Or, if you as the confidant are the one in the wrong... then you are not worth it.

No amount of love, can make up for a lack of trust... or unconditional love. And that's just how it is. That right there, my friends, is the key to every single relationship you will ever have for the rest of your life. And sometimes we have to let go of friendships and relationships... because they lack that trust, and/or unconditional love. Which hurts. Because we still love them. But love is not enough, my friends.

And sometimes... we find friendships that are near perfect projections of what friends should be. Unconditional, caring, sincere, and nonjudgmental. Those are what we live for, and what we strive for in this life. We are here to grow, and to find joy, and it is relationships like that, where you can grow together in joy.

True friendship is unconditional.
Which is what makes it priceless
and Beautiful.

Priesthood

Man ALIVE! Do I love the priesthood. That's really all I have to say, but really and truly, with all sincerity of my HEART, I LOVE this Gospel, and the authority that the priesthood has. We have the chance to hear the words of God, through their mouths, when they are using that priesthood, and when they are in tune with the Spirit of God. And it's really, just amazing.

I am so blessed to have the knowledge of this Gospel. And I just love it. I am so grateful for the great men in my life, that live up to that responsibility. I am so grateful for their spirit. I wonder sometimes if they realize the great work that they do in all of our lives!

Jesus Christ, our Redeemer, and Savior is the Son of God.
He lives.

And I know that this Church, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, is true. My goodness, it is true. And I love it!

O Lord My God

I stand all amazed at the love Jesus offers me
Confused at the grace that so fully he proffers me
I tremble to know that for me he was crucified
That for me, a sinner, he suffered, he bled and died

Chorus:
Oh, it is wonderful that he should care for me enough to die for me
Oh, it is wonderful
Wonderful to me

I marvel that he would descend from his throne divine
To rescue a soul so rebellious and proud as mine
That he should extend his great love unto such as I
Sufficient to own, to redeem and to justify

(Repeat chorus)

I think of his hands, pierced and bleeding to pay my debt
Such mercy, such love and devotion can I forget?
No, no, I will praise and adore at the mercy seat
Until at the glorified throne I kneel at his feet

I stand all amazed at the love Jesus offers me
Secure in the promise of life in his victory
Thus ransomed from death I will live to my Savior's praise
And sing of his goodness and mercy through endless days

Mosiah 7

17 And now, it came to pass on the morrow that king Limhi sent a proclamation among all his people, that thereby they might gather themselves together to the temple, to hear the words which he should speak unto them.
18 And it came to pass that when they had gathered themselves together that he spake unto them in this wise, saying: O ye, my people, lift up your heads and be comforted; for behold, the time is at hand, or is not far distant, when we shall no longer be in subjection to our enemies, notwithstanding our many strugglings, which have been in vain; yet I trust there remaineth an effectual struggle to be made.
19 Therefore, lift up your heads, and rejoice, and put your trust in God, in that God who was the God of Abraham, and Isaac, and Jacob; and also, that God who brought the children of Israel out of the land of Egypt, and caused that they should walk through the Red Sea on dry ground, and fed them with fmanna that they might not perish in the wilderness; and many more things did he do for them.
20 And again, that same God has brought our fathers aout of the land of Jerusalem, and has kept and preserved his people even until now; and behold, it is because of our iniquities and abominations that he has brought us into bondage.
33 But if ye will turn to the Lord with full purpose of heart, and put your trust in him, and serve him with all diligence of mind, if ye do this, he will, according to his own will and pleasure, deliver you out of bondage.

Austin, Texas

I love my girls in Mt Bonnell.

 

p.p.s

So, Michael's birthday is coming up in about a month, and I need to send something on next week or so, so that he'll hopefully get it by his birthday! Eeek! Need to start cracking on what I'm gonna do...!

p.s

I'm currently considering changing my major to Art Education, with a minor in American Government Education.

And, on a random note... words that describe my current insecurity. But no, I don't feel like explaining how, or in what context.

supplement
addendum
extraneous
extra
add-on
appendage
attachment
bonus
unnecessary
accessory
superfluous

Recently

Wow, seems like a lot has happened in my life of late. And yet at the same time it's still pretty empty. Currently, I am still looking for a job... With no success. Yeah, pretty lame. And I've been home now for almost two months now... wow, does not seem that long. I guess because when I first got home, the first month or so was spent hanging out with Paula, and then being a loser with no social life, when she left.

Nowadays, I usually hang out with Mandy all day twice a week or so. We seem to be making a habit of hanging out on Tuesdays, and then going to institute together. We are becoming fun amazing friends. Right now she is sick, which is sad, because she coughs all the time, and just looks and sounds very tired. But I still hung out with her all day yesterday and bossed her around to make her sleep and such things... hehe! woops! That's okay though, I think she needed it. And she wouldn't let me do much else for her ;)

I've recently been adopted into what I believe is referred to as the "Pretty Pretty" group... haha. Sorry if that sounds like a flashback from The Uglies, series. Promise we're not air headed though. It's a circle of lovely amazing girls. And we're constantly helping each other through our individual crises. I expect to grow a lot this semester, and a big part of that growth will be because of my circle of girls. I hope to continue to grow closer to those wonderful girls!

I've decided that if since I am home, and since I have so much free time, and since I do not have a job, there must be a reason. Last time life was like this (last fall), I decided in hindsight that gaining the wonderful miss Lindy Lee, as a friend was a big part of why I was home, and why Michael went to college a semester before me. And while I certainly love, adore, and very much appreciate the friendships I am making down here this semester... and hope to keep many of them for a life time, and beyond!! I think there's more to me being home.

I've idled a lot of my time of late, and I think I'm done. With that aspect. I'm making a goal, to read the Book of Mormon every month until I go back to school. And then, at least once a semester, if not twice. I also want to attend the temple. I started to go several times a week, before I left Idaho, and I certainly miss that aspect.

I'm pretty certain my Graves' Disease is coming out of remission. And I've ignored it for a couple months now... and I'm pretty sure it's time to do something about it. I'm becoming more fidgety, and anxious, and nervous. I frequently suffer from fatigue, or insomnia. I can almost always feel my heart beat as strong and as heavy as, in Colby's words, "an army marching." When I wake up in the morning, I am seriously hot, physically, and internally. And no amount of cold liquids does anything for it. And my heart is racing as though I've been jogging, even though it should be as slow as ever since Ive just been sitting in bed. I feel like my eye sight is deteriorating, and I'm losing weight (though the weight I can also place blame on myself for!) So... yeah! not very good signs.

At any rate, I've learned a lot in the last week. More than I can even describe or share with you. Right now, I'm going to go do homework, and read my scriptures, and then make lots of phone calls to a series of doctors. Hope you, my friends, have a wonderful day!

Fridays

I haven't written in forever... I know! I'm sorry. At any rate, yesterday, I went over to my new friend Amanda (Mandy) Wood's place. She's the new nanny for the Lee-Wen's. She took over for Lindy when she left.

For the most part I just hung around the house while she got Caleb all fed, and such. But when he went to take his nap, we watched a movie, (and ate rice and beans, that Mandy had cooked for our lunch!). And after the movie we sat on the couch for a while talking. Which is always good. I don't think we'll end up being like best friends or anything, but she's pretty fun. She reminds me a lot, of Lindy, but her personality is very different in a lot of respects. When Caleb woke up, and Eilie got back from school, we painted pretty pictures! lol. Fun times, I know. Around 6:30 I think, I left and it was seriously POURING, like I've never seen so much rain in my life. NO visibility, man. And while I was driving home, this guy randomly stops dead--in the middle of the highway, I mean, really!? And I had to swerve into the other lane, and I started hydroplaining.. and just, YAH! At any rate, I did get home okay. And I texted Mandy when I got home to let her know that I was safely at home.

Ate dinner with the fam, and then scurried off to Beth's birthday party, which was located at Ali Hancock's place, in Cedar Park (forever and a day away). Beth is a girl in the Mt Bonnell Singles Ward, that I really don't know all that well, but hey! Gotta go to the parties, right? Yep! Anyway, lots of fun smiling people were there at the party. Virginia, Shaunna, Caroline, Ali, Kayla, Tiffany... you know! And Mandy got there a couple minutes after I did.

A bunch of people, including the first three girls I mentioned, and Mandy, ended up playing a version of like King of the Mountain, with this huge floating circle, in the pool. I of course, avoided it, since I can't get my ear wet! Hole in the eardrum and all. But they certainly had a lot of fun. So I took pictures for a while, and then got in and swam around. As it got later, more people started to dissipate away from the party... and I joined the group of people sitting in the hot tub. We started to play truth or dare, and two truths and a lie, and that kind of thing, you know. And slowly more and more people started to leave, until it was left down to Ali, Mandy, and I, and a guy named Jake, that I don't really know (like, at all!) lol. We got into all kinds of deep conversations, and just talked for like, EVER! lol. It was lots of fun, and I found out some exciting, entertaining things about Ali. And it was a bonding moment, of course!

At any rate, Mandy and I didn't leave until like 3am haha. I got a text at midnight from Steve, my brother in law, saying "My, aren't we out late tonight?" lol... which was pretty funny, considering I got that text three hours later. At any rate, I texted Mandy to make sure she had gotten home, because she had been starting to look pretty tired by the time we left. And then proceeded to stay up for the next like hour.. haha. What a party.

Lots of fun though!
Live life!

Turtle's Funeral

I spent the afternoon today, making Turtle's headstone, and digging a hole for his grave. After I was done with that, I put his body in the ground, and covered it with ash, and the blanket I made him when he was little that had his name stitched into it.

After putting vines and food around him, I called my mother out to let her see the grave, and then she requested to put the dirt in. First, however, we said a prayer over the spot, and then covered him, and lined the grave with rocks.

Ode to Turtle

Today was a wonderful day, until I got home and was told one after another by four different people within 15 seconds of walking in the door, that my bunny had died. The fourth person, being my jerk brother, who is insensitive, sarcastic, and rude.

So, somehow... the door "became open" and the bunny got out. Something must have got him, because he is now dead. I would have preferred that my family left him alone, so that I could deal with him myself. But no, my family prefers to try and be helpful, which is rarely appreciated.

So, here is a picture journal of Turtle's life with me.


Turtle's first day at home!




Turtle's first Easter, shortly after getting him!


Turtle's trip to Church (day before his trip to high school!)


Turtle on his harness and leash running around the yard.
I was going to pull out his harness and let him run around tomorrow...


Turtle on the last day that I held him, and the last day he got one of Emily's home made salads that were just for him.

I love you Turtle, and I shall see you once I have been twinkled.

Organ Donor

Today I became an organ donor! I always wanted to become one, and now I'm 18, and I decided to do it! I feel the love man! Spread the Love and feel the Love!

And if you feel comfortable with it, you should all do it too!!
muah!

Click Here to Register! at OrganDonor.Gov

Cecil O. Samuelson, Jr., Dean, regional representative and physician. February Ensign 1988

Organ transplantation is one of the true medical wonders of our age. Medical science has progressed to the point that the replacement of an injured or diseased body part, such as a kidney, cornea of the eye, heart, liver, bone, bone marrow, skin, or pancreas is becoming fairly common. Most donors plan before they die to give certain organs or tissues. However, some organs—such as kidneys—can be donated to someone in need while the donor is still living.

As is the case with many other scientific developments, there are many questions about organ transplantation that have serious economic, ethical, moral, and religious implications. And, as with many other important aspects of life, we have been counseled to study the information, make decisions, and pray for wisdom about our choices. (See D&C 9:7–9; D&C 58:26–28.)

The Church has taken no official position on organ transplants. It seems obvious, however, that organ transplantation does not affect one’s resurrection, since the organ would soon have returned to the basic elements of the earth following death anyway. Whatever happens to an organ following death, we are promised that “every limb and joint shall be restored to its body, yea, even a hair of the head shall not be lost.” (Alma 40:23.)

In the meantime, wonderful blessings have come to thousands of people and to their families through organ donation and replacement. Several doctors who work with transplantation have shared with me inspirational stories and letters from those who have received this special service. Families grieving from the death of a loved one have been greatly comforted by the knowledge that other lives have been saved or measurably improved after receiving a vital organ transplant. Other families have been spared serious illness or death because a living family member was able to donate an organ to a loved one.

As I work with the givers and receivers and see the selfless love that is evident in this gift of life and health, I am often reminded of what Peter and John did when they met the lame beggar as they went into the temple. The lame man asked only for alms but instead was healed. To the one in need, Peter said, “Silver and gold have I none; but such as I have give I thee.” (Acts 3:6.)

Those who are considering donating a kidney to a loved one should be aware that only those who meet strict requirements will be considered as donors. Because of careful screening, and because of advances in transplantation techniques, donors do not face the risk they did just a few years ago. A healthy person can give a kidney, for example, and continue to live a normal life, sustained by the remaining kidney.

While the matter of vital organ transplantation remains a highly personal one, it deserves prayerful consideration.

Freshman Finite

Freshman year of college is over. I'm a little nervous on some of my classes for this semester.. I'm not sure what the grades will be like yet... but here's hoping!! I made some new BESTIES, and I love them very much! I'm so glad that so far all of my friends are on the same track as me, and I will therefore be able to see them all when we come back for school in January. You can tell you've spent far too much time with a person with you start picking up some of their funny quirks! But that's all right!

I'm officially out of Rexburg, and I have entered Logan, Utah! I'm staying with Kathy until Tuesday when I board my plane around 5pm I think. Monday, my brother Chad arrives here, with his family, whom I haven't seen since Melanie got married! Super exciting I agree! I figure I'm going to spend the first week of being home catching up with friends, and writing a resume I'm sure... blah. haha. And then I will get going on job hunting, (and still hanging out with friends)^_^ That's the current plan.

I have TWO letters currently waiting for me from Australia, and I'm super excited... who knows by the time I get home, maybe I'll even have THREE!!! AHHHH. So much to reply to. I might have to put two stamps on my next letter to him to make up for the weight and fatness of it!!

I'm so excited to see my friends from home, but I miss my college friends so much already! I'm happy, (nervous about grades), and anxious to be home!

I love you all!
see you soon! or in the hopefully near future!

Romantic Tragedy

"Anyone lived in a pretty how town"

anyone lived in a pretty how town
(with up so floating many bells down)
spring summer autumn winter
he sang his didn’t he danced his did.

Women and men(both little and small)
cared for anyone not at all
they sowed their isn’t they reaped their same
sun moon stars rain

children guessed(but only a few
and down they forgot as up they grew
autumn winter spring summer)
that noone loved him more by more

when by now and tree by leaf
she laughed his joy she cried his grief
bird by snow and stir by still
anyone’s any was all to her

someones married their everyones
laughed their cryings and did their dance
(sleep wake hoe and then)they
said their nevers and they slept their dream

stars rain sun moon
(and only the snow can begin to explain
how children are apt for forget to remember
with up so floating many bells down)

one day anyone died i guess
(and noone stooped to kiss his face)
busy folk buried them side by side
little by little and was by was

all by all and deep by deep
and more by more they dream their sleep
noone and anyone earth by april
wish by spirit and if by yes.

Women and men(both dong and ding)
summer autumn winter spring
reaped their sowing and went their came
sun moon stars rain

-- E. E. Cummings

REL 342

I dunno what's up with my religion teacher.. he's a nice old guy.. but I swear.. I've had like four different absences randomly pop up... on days when I know I was in class, and I could even quote you things we talked about. And I have specific memories of marking the roll! And then the next class, there's a blue highlight mark instead of my checkmark! What's up, man!? It's like he makes a new roll sheet, and skips over my name, and then marks me absent later? What's the deal!! Anyway, good thing he's fairly trusting, and so far I think when I've emailed him about it he's corrected it. Just frustrating in the last couple weeks.

More importantly, you should read my previous post!
loves

Hinckley

I want to be happy,
But I won’t be happy
Till I make you happy, too.
(Irving Caesar, “I Want to Be Happy” [1924])

How true this is.

Every woman is a daughter of God. You cannot offend her without offending Him. I plead with the men of this Church to look for and nurture the divinity that lies within their companions. To the degree that happens, there will be harmony, peace, enrichment of family life, nurturing love.

-Gordon B Hinckley

Being Nice

Being nice makes you good friends, fairly easily, and fairly frequently, which is lovely. And I love being nice to people, and helping them and cooking for them, or doing their dishes. Because I love them. And we're all children of God, which I think, as a mormon very much changes my perspective on doing good deeds or service for others. Makes me much happier to do it. I love it.

But it also makes you feel like they are good friends. And I think a lot of the time, that feeling really isn't mutual. People like you, because you're nice, sure. They don't mind having you around, because they at least don't find you too annoying. They probably feel like they know you well enough to come borrow a cup of sugar.. but do they feel like they trust you? Or that they can come to you when they're feeling down? And I do mean come to you, not dump on you if you happen to be there at the right time. Because I think that's very different, personally.

I have lots of friends. Lots of really fun friends. And I love them all. But I think that in all reality.. not more than one, maybe two, actually have an equal relationship with me. Not that I mind doing lots of things for people.. it's just that every now and then you wonder why no one else does anything for you, yeah? Sometimes it's a personality difference. And sometimes it's because they don't feel the same desire or obligation to send their love to you, as you do for them.

Bubbles

I've slowly come to realize the very wide differences in culture between people up here in Rexburg. I mean I certainly got a look at it last semester with all the roommate drama, but that was different I think. Or maybe, now I just have a more in depth knowledge of it, now that I know even more people.

I was having a conversation with Gesselle and a couple other people the other day about this I think. We all grow up in bubbles--not necessarily Mormon. At my high school, everyone I knew was comfortable with their body. No one came to school every day and complained about their weight or their fat, or anything of the sort. We didn't even really talk about things like that.

No one really had space bubbles either. We greeted with hugs, and we shared frequent kisses on the cheek (mainly girls only, of course). No one blinked twice if one of your girl friends came up and put their hands in your pockets. No one cared if you came and sat on their lap, or played with their shoes, or went through their backpacks. And we held hands all the time.

And I loved that atmosphere. And it is very different from many of the people up here that I know. I think that atmosphere is starting to catch on up here slowly, so different people have different aspects of it, but not entirely.

Every now and then someone objects, or is taken aback, or simply reacts to something so simple as holding hands with another girl, and I'm taken aback just as much or more! It's ridiculous. I swear half the people up here automatically assume you're lesbian if you're holding hands. I love holding hands! And holding hands with girls is very different from holding hands with boys! And I love both, and both make me feel happy, and comforted, but they are very different!!

And more importantly I love hugs! REAL hugs! That is atleast one thing that I find is more frequent up here ^_^ At home, alot of people give what I like to call "fake hugs". You know, side hugs with boys, or weird leaning, barely touching hugs with girls. In the words of the great Lindy Lee... everything is better when you're squeezing tight and add a little grunt to boot! haha.

Anyway, to end... there's nothing wrong with people having different space bubbles. It's just something new and weird for me to experience. And I love all my friends! And I think everyone should have an open mind, and love in their heart for themselves and for everyone around them.

You cannot love a single person, if you cannot love yourself.

Late Nights

 
My evenings, of late are regularly spent in apartment 512. Upstairs and to the left or right of my apartment, depending on your perspective. Some nights, my dear Kelsey is at work, although on the rare occasion, I am still at their house when she returns from work around 1 in the morning. But fairly frequently (as far as late nights go), the three of us, meaning of course, my dear Colby, Kelsey, and myself... sit upon the couch and share stories about our lives, and childhoods, et cetera! Which I very much love and enjoy, and, of course, CHERISH!!

It's kind of sad though, because I'm getting all attached to them!! Why do I seem to have a habit of these things, man!? I find good friends, right before it's time to LEAVE! Sad sad story. But, we're all on the same track, so, preferrably, we will connect back again when I return for the winter. Or rather, we had better, because I've already put them on the invitation list for the wedding!! And I love them! (No worries, no plan for a specific wedding yet!). It'd really help having such named wedding in Idaho though, as far as having college friends attend. And Utah family.

I still need to work on my cracking down on homework plan.. but fingers crossed.
love you all!

RAD Keychain

 
I am now certified to carry a concealed and deadly weapon.. mwahahaha..

My keyychain....!!!!

Clean Room

 




yayaya ^_^

Two Weeks

By the way.. I'm seriously dying for school to end. I'm way way done. The only class I enjoy going to anymore is Horseback riding. The others simply aren't my favorite anymore. And of course I love RAD, but the last class is tomorrow! And that will be a very sad day!! My classes are starting to wind down tho.. just projects and papers now.. which I don't exactly enjoy either.. oh, and tests, don't forget those. I'm just sick of school! While I LOVE my new friends, and I will be TERRIBLY sad to part from them for the fall.. I just can't handle it anymore!!

I need to find some way that will pull me through the last two weeks, and not distract me too much from homework. Cuz I need to do homework =/ Oh, and SAD day, Michael is officially in Australia, and I won't be getting any letters from him until I get home. I will have to subsist on the weekly emails forwarded to me that are to his parents.

Just two weeks and three days (counting today) left until school is out. And then I go to Logan the day after, and fly home on Tuesday the 28th!!

JUNE!

This month, I made friends!! That was my most exciting thing. To which I attribute all to the Relief Society campout, which was wonderful as I've said before. I first started hanging out with Gesselle, who lives right above me. I'm not sure exactly, how I started hanging out with the girls in 512... perhaps because I visit teach Kelsey, or, perhaps because I went over there when Gesselle was hanging out over there. Perhaps it started with Colby and her sweetness being miss Doctor for Gesselle! Couldn't say, don't recall, but I'm simply glad I have them!

Then.... I went to visit Chloe! My old buddy from my elementary years, who used to live with me. It was a super fun weekend, but I got super burned.. haha. But itwas good to get back to the olden days and recall the old memories yeah?

My burn was pretty bad.. I'm still peeling like.. 2 weeks later!? Yeah. I had like blisters and all kinds of such things. Pretty gross. Every couple hours I went to one of my friends at Aspen, and got them to rub Aloe Vera on my back. But no worries, I returned the favor for some, since I wasn't the only one to get burned that week!!


Well, the month of June has been great! Lots of fun. Couldn't even spend the time to tell you about all that has happened this month! And really I guess not all that much has happened, but it seems that way! I've been keeping up with my mother's suggestion to get the permanent addresses of all the friends I make that I want to come to my wedding (whenever that may be). So far, my college list includes Lindy, Gesselle, Kelsey, and Colby. What dears! Don't worry, I've still got my list of high school friends too. And my list should be growing every year, yeah!?
I love my girls!

Happenings

Well, hm.. lots of things have actually happened in the last week!! I got a new roommate on Wednesday. Very short notice.. like 30 minutes notice. And she was there when I got home. Her name is Jaquelin.. I think that's how it's spelled. I haven't quite figured that out yet. Last I was home her stuff was still filling my living room. She's a senior. I had to move all of my things into my other roommate's room, Maryann, because Jaquelin paid for her own private room, apparently. So poo on that.

I'm amazing buddies with like three or four of the apartments surrounding mine, and walk in and visit them often. Apartment 515, was having roommate time, and made pretty pictures on the sidewalk in front of our apartment including the John Deere symbol, and the Rexburg Temple, and other such exciting things. This picture is of my friend Sarah, who's also in my weight training class. She's drawing pretty flowers (she's from Hawaii).

I got on my horse Chester, bareback on wednesday. Pretty darn exciting. He was stubborn that day, but it went alright. Afterwards, I went to RAD, and split my pants, as you can see... didn't think about the fact that jeans aren't too flexible when I put my head to the floor in a butterfly. =/ hahahaha. And then when I went to visit my lovely girls from 512, it proceded to continue ripping over and over again, so it got pretty big. hah.

Anyway, I have to go to class!! But I'll see ya later!
Oh, and I got asked on a date today from a guy named Alan in my foreign gov't class.
love you all!

Purchases

I bought a BIKE!!! So that coming home from the grocery store won't be so painful!! Yeah, cuz walking uphill with 10 pounds of cold milk in your hand, is not a party. Especially since it's been raining.
I also bought BOOTS! Like, REAL boots, so that when walking around in the horse poop, and getting dirt kicked up all the time by my horse... it's not all getting in my tennis shoes! How fun is that? I just need some plaid and a ten gallon hat, and I'll be all set =)

Chester the Horse

By the way, my horseback riding class has started! My horse's name is Chester. He can be a butt, but haha he likes me most of the time, so it's been going well. We start barebacking like next week. Maybe I'll try to get a picture of him next class!
loves!

College A Goin

Well, I have like 5 weeks, and 4 days until I am done with the semester, and then I'll get to go to Kathy's house, and then to lovely home. This week is the last week of RAD for the semester. I'm signed up for the Keychain course that'll start in July, so good times there, but it's only a 4 hour course, spread out over two days. I'm going to go visit Chloe in Utah in a couple weeks, so that's pretty exciting. Hopefully this upcoming weekend I'm having a sleepover party with the girls upstairs. But you never know with college girls. Tests or just all sorts of random things can pop up.

I currently, according to midterm grades have 2 C's 2 B's and 2 A's. But, one of those C's is most certainly a mistake, and should be a B, and I think I'll be able to bring it up to an A by the end of the semester. The other C will hooopefully come up to a B. I can pretty certainly bring up one of my B's, and hopefully the other one... depends on how my test on friday went!!! =) And my two A's are Basketball and Weight Lifting so.. haha. But all in all, I think it will be a very good semester. I'd be super satisfied if I got all A's and B's.

My friend Gesselle's brother, is in my foreign government class. He's pretty cute, but I dunno if anything will happen for how far it could even go if it did. But it's nice to have something to think about! =)

I've written both Michael and Jarom on their missions. Seems funny to think the boys from the ward--from my generation that is--are off on their missions. But it seems very right. Jarom hasn't written me back yet. But it's only been like two weeks, and since he's in Taiwan, he might not have even received it yet!! Michael's stuck in the MTC a little longer, because they don't have his VISA yet, or something. They're sending him off to a random stateside mission next week until his VISA comes. Weird huh? But pretty cool. Anyhow, I got things to do!! Talk to you later!

Aw Love!!

Lindy and Stuart just dropped by!! They were running and apparently decided to make a stop and see me! Lindy more than Stuart, I'm sure, haha, but I feel loved! I love random drop by's!! Just as much as I love randomly walking in to people's houses and saying hello, and letting them know I love them! It's the little things that let people know you care!

This Weekend

GOOD FREAKING GRIEF!!!
This weekend is so CRAZY! It's like everyone wants to just all of a sudden be social!! I haven't had like any social outings, or interactions in WEEKS, and now, all of a sudden it's like exploding.. which is really depressing, because obviously I can't go to all of these activities!! Not really depressing, cuz I'm not depressed haha, but sad! Or something! But not if it's a sign that maybe from now on social interactions will spread out and be a regular, and often occurrence, than that'll be lovely! haha.

So here's the story. I've recently made buddies with the people that live right above me, and while I was at their house the other day, they came up with the idea to have a big group date this weekend! And then, Lindy invited me to go home with her to Boise. And there's this little factor of my roommate's getting married this weekend. And then, my friend Andrew, from my Foreign Government class (he was also in my BOM class last semester), invited me to go with him to Yellowstone. Which, I've never gone, so that's obviously a very tempting offer! And then today, my buddies from upstairs asked if I wanted to go see Hannah Montana with them on Saturday. And then I got a text, from my roommates from last semester, saying they wanted to come raid my pool this weekend and go swimming!! Is that not a super crazy weekend?

Note to friends.. you should coordinate your socialness so that it's more spread out! haha.

So what I'm actually doing this weekend.. is going to Yellowstone, coming back, going swimming, and hopefully getting some other socializing in too! In the meantime, I have a big test I need to study for.. and I have a group meeting tomorrow that I need to also prepare for.. !! AAHH! Crazy I know. Plus my regular homework for tomorrow's classes, let's not forget.
muah!

RS CampOut

By the way, my Relief Society campout was amazing! The most beautiful place I've ever seen! And beautiful, lovely girls as well of course!! Several new friends!! I'm feelin the love! Hehe! ^_^

Activities

This semester is going to be amazing. I'm making sure of it. You can look at my calendar at the bottom of my blog for proof! I'm keepin myself busy like every week! And my ward is pretty cool this semester! We're having a Relief Society sleepover! And a WARD Campout!! wooohoo! Haven't done something like that since I was way little. Haven't gone camping in general in like for-ever-ever-ever..!! And I'm going backpacking one weekend, and there's stargazing like every Friday night that I think I'm gunna join in on every now and then too! I won't be traveling so much this semester, but I am planning on seeing my old childhood friend, Chloe sometime this or next month. And of course I hang out with Lindy whenever possible, and on occasion my roommates from last semester, and even this semester's roommates sometimes as well!!

Of course, my time will also be spent doing the mundane things.. my back has been killing my lately, so I now have an Idaho Chiropractor lol.. and I got a regular doctor as well, and after this week I'll have an endocrinologist as well, because it looks like my Graves Disease has come out of remission, which means I need meds, or some other such treatment, be it radiation or what have you... but I find the latter hopefully unlikely! And don't forget homework..!

But the point is.. I'm getting out of my house! I'm having fun! I'm doing exciting things! And some of my classes are fun too! Like weight lifting, and basketball, and I'm super excited for my Horseback riding class to start!

That's emily! Livin the life ;)

Cooking Time!!

Well I'm all stocked up with Flour, and Rice, and Sugar, and chocolate chips and baking pans, and spatulas and forks and plates and knives and dish towels and just... everything!!! I could go on and on forever! But I'm an independent person with food stocked to boot. And of course, before you ask.. I also have a three day supply kit, so even if we had no power or water for 3 days.. I'd survive! And probably for longer than that with the stuff that's not technically in my 3 day supply. I have all the ingredients to make chocolate chip cookies, and homemade bread, and rice pudding.. and just whatever man! What more do you need?! I even have an apron! haha. Yaya! I'm all set up for gaining my domesticated skills that are so necessary for my future!

I've still only met one roommate, but I asked her what the dorm kitchen policies are, and basically if it's got your name on it, people won't eat it, but other than that we can use stuff like flour and pans, etc. Sounds like a plan eh!? I'm excited. But I'm a little nervous too! Cooking at home just seems different than cooking at my own home. Maybe I'm just silly.

@ Kathy's House

Well I've spent the last week with Kathy and her kids in Utah. It's been a wonderful break from school, and I've been able to get constructive thigns done at the same time! Haha. Kathy took it upon herself to make sure that I have learned how to cook the basics such as home made bread and pancakes so that I'll survive the coming months at a cooking apartment ;D And I've also been able to go shopping for the basic kitchen needs such as forks spoons, knives, and spatulas and other such things that will fit in my carry on suitcase on my ride back to Rexburg. But speaking of which, I should go take my clothes out of the dryer so that I can pack them back up, for I am returning to Rexburg tomorrow, and the young son of my sister Kathy, would like a turn on the computer! I'll get back to you later!

Finals Week

Aaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!!! School is out on Thursday. Which means I have like 4 hours worth of paper writing, and math homework and science to do tonight.. and an equal load of the same tomorrow to do as well. Ammon D. is taking me to my storage unit on Thursday right after my English class.. so I also have to finish packing by Thursday morning before I go to my classes. To add to all of that, I also have to squeeze in time to meet with my groups for various group projects, and to go to the testing center to take tests!!! And don't forget studying for those tests! What to doo!? Oh and don't forget I have to clean the dorm thursday, before I leave.

Crazy sttuffff! On Friday everyone will leave, and I'm still here all day! So I think I'm gunna go walk around Rexburg for the day.. maybe buy my tennis shoes for my Basketball class.. that kind of thing. Can't buy too much of course, because I will have already made my trip to my storage unit! And then I leave for Kathy's house early Saturday morning, where I will stay until the 17th, at which time I'll come back to Rexburg to move in to my new housing!! Meet the new roommates and all that!

Lindy Lee surprised me with the knowledge that she will also be here in the spring semester.. and so she also arrives on Friday! I dunno if we'll hang out at all on the 17th or anything cuz we'll both be busy moving in, but maybe in the night time! Cuz you know Lindy and I, when we're together we like to do things late at night that are exciting! haha. And then I have no plans until Monday when I start classes!!

Right now I'm signed up for Church History, World Civilizations, Weight Training, Beginner's Basketball, History/Philosophy of Education, Foreign Government, and Basic Horse Riding! Woohhooo!! Amazing I know.

Anyway, I gotta go to a group meeting right now, so I'll ttyl!!
loves

Nearing the End of Dorm Life

Well I know I haven't written much this semester about my life at college! But I'll get better again. I've got 11 days left in the semester! WHOOO!! I'm real excited. Dorm life has not been the best experience it could be I'm pretty sure.. Two of my roommates drive me crazy with their moody angry-ness and drama! Grow up, dump the guy, and get on with life! Am I right? Yes! Thanks.

Over the break between semesters I plan on staying at my sister Kathy's house. So that should be exciting. Maybe I'll even sneak in some of my laundry so that I don't have to pay for a couple batches! What a thought!

I am somewhat lamenting leaving the dorms however. I've really hit it off with one of my roommates (who's also from Texas), and she's staying on campus, and I'm going off campus. So, we're sad we won't be roommates again, but too bad. We'll keep in touch, invade eachother's homes haha. Maybe we'll room together next winter. That'd be fun.

Not sure if I mentioned this yet in a previous post or not.. but my boyfriend Michael is going on the 27th of May to the MTC so he can start preparing for his mission to Australia! He's super excited. We're both sad to leave eachother's company of course, but we are both excited for the opportunities we'll have to grow while we're apart. I'm not officially waiting for my missionary or anything, no worries. I'll be dating. But we'll see what happens! ^_^

I won't be coming home until like the last week of July. But I look forward to seeing you all! But I am very much enjoying life up here. As my mother once said.. It's good for me to be around so many conservatives! I'm loving it. I'm absorbing as much of the traditions and not quite Mormon culture.. but what SHOULD be! I'm doing my best to learn all that I can outside and inside of class!



We cleaned out our dorms today as though we were moving out.. which means SUPER DUPER cleaning known as the "White Glove Check". In the process we of course got stressed, had fun, and had LOTS OF TRASH! haha. Hope you enjoy. Love you all!

Harvard Mormon

Day of Faith: Personal Quests for a Purpose - 3. Rachel Esplin from Harvard Hillel on Vimeo.

Mormon TV: Harvard video goes viral - Articles of Faith - Boston.com

PLASMA

I'm going to start donating plasma twice a week if I can.. and it's going to be exciting!! You get like 20$ the first time you go every week, and if you go a second time in the week, you get 30$.. which means 50$ a week if you go twice a week. If i do that every semester that I'm at Idaho.. even taking some out for personal spending.. that would help alot to pay for things, like housing! That's like 600$ a semester. It's like a lame job! lol

That's my latest plan of action! I'm hoping to go tomorrow for the first time. Eek! haha. Michael and I will hopefully be able to sign up for a good time slot today (for tomorrow). Shouldn't have put it off, i know.. but whatevs.

I'm told it hurts like crazy. Buuuttt... we'll find out!! haha
loves!

RAD

So I signed up for a RAD (Rape Aggression Defense) course at BYUI! It only cost me 10$ and it's twice a week for 2 hours.. from Today until the 26th of February. And, at the end of the course, my instructor will sign this book that they gave us, which works as a pass basically for any RAD course ANYWHERE, ANYTIME! So I can just walk in to any RAD course in the future if I bring my book, and I won't have to pay for the course. So I can go every semester and keep it in my system and get all practiced and honed at the amazing skills I'm to learn. (And I never have to pay again)

Pretty cool, I know. And I like the instructors so far.. so I think it'll be fun.

English

I'm making a 91.1333333 in my English class right now. haha. yaya! And after today it should be about a 92 I think cuz I did some extra credit. I'm excited. Some of my grades are a full twenty points above the average of the class.. which means.. someone's not doing very well! Ouch!! But I expect my grade to only go up from here!

Snow Balls

Oh!! By the way! I found out that technically it's not illegal to have a snowball fight so long as all those involved willingly entered into it. It got up to 35 degrees today tho, so the snow was melting. Everything's gonna be rock hard ice by the morning. No snow ball fights until it snows again real good!!

Next Weekend

Well, not too much is going on in my life right now.. but right now it looks like Ammon, Michael and I will be driving down to Provo this upcoming Valentines weekend, and we're gunna hang with the gang! That being primarily Dallan, Paula, and Devin of course. It's a three day weekend, so we're gunna leave Friday afternoon sometime is my guess, and then come back Monday afternoon sometime. It should be fun! I'm excited.

Things have calmed down with the roommates.. no drama currently! haha. My classes are going well. Last I knew I had a 95 in my math class. I'm supposed to get some important grades from my English class on Tuesday. Hopefully that'll bring forth Good News! I'm currently making a 100 in my Book of Mormon class, haha. Good times. But I'm getting another grade for that class some time this week, so who knows!

Miss Lindy got a job as a fashion consultant in Wyoming! So I wont be using any more weekends to hitch rides to go see her most likely. Hopefully we'll find out what her plans are for the summer semester soon! I need to be looking into my housing for next semester here real soon!

Michael and I have decided to meet for breakfast once a week. Just squeezin in little spots of time together kind of thing. Besides, it's good for me, gettin up earlier.. right? lol. Michael's expecting his mission call soon! Exciting stuff, man! He's uber uber uber excited, lemme tell ya. It's real cute.

Let's see.. Michael and I might go donate plasma together in a couple weeks! Just for the fun of it. And I thought up an amazing date idea.. inspired from a girl in my relief society. We're gunna go to this local pizza buffet.. and see how long we can stay and eat there before they ask us to leave. haha. Don't worry I'm bringing my laptop for something to do.. since they have free wifi up there. Maybe we should bring homework or something too! or a book to read or something.

Anyhow, that's life I guess. Not a whole lot goes on up here. Hope all is well. lots of loves!

4th Grade History Changed My Life

I remembered today.. that 4th grade history changed my life!!! haha. I was the only one in the class pretty much.. lol so we moved at MY pace. Which (because I'm that amazing), meant that I finished the textbook early in the semester. So my teacher (Linda), said that I could choose what to study for the rest of the year, and at the time I was obsessed with Indians (and rocks). So I got to study rocks and Indians for the rest of the year. And choose my homework on those subjects too. hehe. Sound amazing?? I know.

Anyhow.. I was really passionate about Indians. And I just decided one day that I REALLY wanted to be able to fully put myself in their shoes and understand all that they felt, and agree with all they believed (while I was in their shoes at any rate). And I was able to. My history teacher was impressed with it at the time. And said it was a valuable skill. So I always worked to get even better at it! So naturally I'm much more amazing at it now. (And no, not just with indians!! haha).

Problem is.. I think it's given me like.. split personality!! I realized.. that when things like politics come up.. I wait to say anything until I know how the other person stands.. and then I just play devil's advocate and try to express the opposite side of the argument (no matter what side of politics this person is on). Because I feel this need for the other person to understand how both sides feel, like I do. But that means.. I have absolutely no IDEA what I believe. For cereal. And I couldn't even begin to have an idea as to how I'm going to gain an opinion or pull to either side. It feels like something I need to do, but at the same time.. it feels like having an opinion one way or the other might restrict my abilities to understand the other side of the argument!

I mean I can have opinions of my own on specific issues.. but the problem there lies in that I really don't know what the issues are. Or better yet.. I don't understand the issues enough to be able to form an opinion.

Anyhow, there's something I'm working on. And I thank Lindy Lee for bringing it to my attention! Here's hoping I make progress.

Rexburg!

So I was reminded that I haven't updated my blog in an age! Soooo that was just unacceptable! And here we are!

I have absolutely LOVED being here!! I was so overwhelmed by the great spirit that lives here my first couple weeks. I felt bombarded by inspirations constantly, and couldn't go anywhere without paper and pen... even in freakin math class!! I still take my spiritual journal with me to every class and everywhere else I go. I can certainly tell that THIS is where I am meant to BE! And I'm so glad to always feel that I am in the right place at the right time!

I LOVE the weather!! It's been snowing ALL day today. We've got like 3 inches of new snow in some places around campus. It's been around 28 for the past week which is actually REALLY nice and feels pretty toasty when the sun's out--which HAS happened a couple days. lol. I love it soo much that I've pretty much decided that I'm going to live in Idaho when I get married and have officially moved away from home. Which I feel no guilt for, because the only place I ever vowed never to raise my kids in is Utah. My kids will have a very different childhood here than I had in Austin, but I think it'll be good!

My classes are going well! Math class is tedious and boring and I'm not learning much of anthing cuz it's like 9th grade math. So I'm super glad this is my LAST math class EVER. Science class is interesting, and I think it's going well. I like the format and the teacher. We haven't started to learn much yet. We've just been discussing the philosophies of science and religion et cetera. I love my english teacher!! She's adorable and fun loving! But she's working us hard and her class will help me to grow in English for sure. I love it. Speech class is amazing! I love it. The text book is apparently this book that they teach all of the General Authorities of the church in when they are ordained. So it's REALLY good. I love reading it. Our teacher told us to always think about ourselves when we read it and now "So and so REALLY should read THAT" kind of thing, and it helps so much to grow! It's called Crucial Conversations, for anyone that wants to give it a shot! I swear it's super good! Choir is a littttle lame, just cuz it's not an advanced level choir. So the songs can be a little boring and we move incredibly slow.. but oh well. My Book of Mormon class is interesting. Not like the best religion class I've ever taken, or the best teacher I've ever had or anything, but it's good. And I share that class with michael! So, fun times. He walks me to my English class every Tuesday and Thursday after B.O.M.

I dropped my camera! Sadness. I'm mailing it back home... get some usage out of that warranty of mine!!! For CEREAL! I get a little frustrated not having a camera at the moment.. but that's my punishment I suppose. Consequence at any rate.

I love being up here, cuz I have more opportunities to see people! I SOO nearly got to visit Paula this weekend. I had a ride arranged with this girl from my Choir class. But I ended up having to work with my English group over the weekend. This project is worth a large percent of our grade.. sooo I had to stay. But the girl I was hitching a ride with said she'll contact me if she tries to go again! And Ammon has a car up here.. so Michael and I might try to make him take a trip up to Provo =p And last weekend I hitched a ride with some people down to Caldwell to see miss Lindy Lee! Since there was no school on monday. And of course I see michael all the time! I've started going and working out with him which I love! Because I feel so out of shape right now. I freakin biked 8 miles the other day! And I ran two miles, and just.. amazing-ness.

Speaking of miss Lindy Lee, she's up here in rexburg this weekend AND week!! So I'm planning on getting super ahead in as many of my classes as I can so I can play with her all week! lol.

That's pretty much all I have to say I think! I love my roommates. We've only had a little drama.. might have some more in the near future, but we will have to wait and see on that!

Journey!!

O-M-G!! I haven't updated in FOR-EVER! So I've left home FINALLY! And I'm off in IDAHO! Right now I'm in Rexburg, but before that.. I spent a week at my friend Lindy's house near Middleton!! Which was amazing, because I love her! There was snow when I first got there which was fun! Her daddy took us four-wheeling in the snoow!! We tried several times to go sledding, but to no avail, which is okay. I'll go sledding sooometime I'm sure!! We spent lots of time with her cousins, spent the night a couple times (we both managed to sleep on the saame couch, at the saame time--cuz we're just that tight!! haha).. her cousins are awesome and fun loving people! I feel like I've been learning so much about myself, and my relationships with people and my Savior.. it's just been AWE-SOME, in both senses of the word(s) !! I'm all moved in up here now, finally! Though you know whaat!?!?!

I found out that I HAVE to move after this semester because apparently they house EFY kids in the dorms during the summer.. so I have to find some where else to live!! Im currently crossing my fingers that Lindy will get her act together and come up here for the summer semester so I can have her with me, and as a roommate! However, who knows if that'll happen! Cross your fingers with me!! Im just hoping all of that goes well.

I get along great with my roommates, and we're having a slumber party in the living room tonight (my idea!) in order to have bonding time!!

I think I'll enjoy all of my classes this semester too! I'm taking Foundations Professional Communications (speech), and Foundations Science, and Book of Mormon 2, and Fundamentals of Literary Interpretation and Women's Glee (treble choir), and Foundations Mathematics for the Real World. Fun Fun Fun! haha. All's well that ends well!! haha.

Well that's all I really got for now! Just enjoying my time up here with Michael, and anxious to make more friends and see old ones once again!
Loves loves loves!