Living in student wards, something you hear a lot from people is how hard it is to be selfless and to devote time to serving others... Because your single years are "a pretty selfish time" while you're working on getting an education for yourself and find a spouse and whatever else single people think will some day make their life be better. But I could not disagree more.
I understand the concept that when you get married you are tied down a little more and restricted in the kind of adventures you can have, at least for while. And I understand the concept of making sure to live your life to the fullest so you won't have regrets when you get married. And maybe there's a thin line between living out your dreams for the here and now, and being selfish... But like I said... it's vague and thin line.
Saying that the stage of life you are currently in requires you to be selfish is in my opinion purely an excuse. And getting in the habit of making such an excuse will only enable you to further the habit the rest of your life. It means you view serving as some kind of burden, when really... the idea of service should not be a burden at all. It should be a part of who you are. What would this world be like, if we all could drop what we were doing when someone needed our service to them?
Charity brings forth service and service brings people closer in a way that you could never understand if charity and service weren't part of your very nature. Understanding what service can do for a relationship will allow your heart to yearn for the very opportunity to serve.
I want so badly to forget myself; to lose myself in a work greater than myself and to build relationships through service. I simply cannot get my desire to go to Kenya out of my mind. I find myself devising more and more possible plans to make it happen. I want to go so badly it makes me want to cry. And I don't think anyone understands that, or even why I want and possibly need to go.
I've battled this question of selfishness. Would it be selfish of me to go to Kenya? But at the same time, my mind says... how could it be? Is it not a righteous desire, to want to give my life in service of a people in need, for as long as I can afford to be there? One of my friends asked me recently... If I don't go to Kenya... is it something I will look back on, and forever regret? And honestly, I think the answer is yes.
I'm fully aware that not everyone can devote the resources or time to give their life to service on a long term basis... but in the end it's all about making service part of who you are. It's about wanting to serve. It's about being willing to devote time to service. It doesn't matter what stage of life you are in. There is no such things as "a selfish time in life." I don't understand how anyone could ever think that our Heavenly Father had it in his plan for us to take a break from being charitable. We're supposed to be growing to be like him all the time. Obviously, we should always be doing our best. And our best may change depending on our present circumstances, and how self reliant we are or how mentally stable we are... but the perspective I think we should all have... is a goal to do our best, all the time to serve, to love, and put others before our own problems.
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On the last day of my mission I went to transfer meeting. There I gave my leavers testimony and president spoke for a bit. It was 100% focused on the work, others, as it should, but afterwards I had to go to the leaver employment training. The whole training was focused on me, who I am, what are my qualities, and what are my goals. It was a bit of a shock suddenly to have to think of myself and the future... In my last interview with President Poulton he told me I need to put more attention on myself and my future. That I was no longer a missionary, my new mission was to get married and raise a family... In my interview with my stake president I was told to think about myself and my goals again. And it hit me that they were not telling me to be selfish, no, they were telling me that I have new responsibilities. That I must worry and work on my future, because thats the only way I can grow to fulfill my new mission. It was all to help me get out of the mindset of never thinking about myself and my goals, a mindset missionaries rightfully develop. But he also told me to do three things every day, read my scriptures, pray, and serve someone. Serve someone, I have come to understand how vital that advice is. He was telling me that although I have new responsibilities I must not become over involved in myself. I must serve and seek to serve. That Charity is not at a end.... I suppose many hear the same advice to develop themselves, to have goals, and take it to full on. Taking the easy road and only focusing one themselves and walking by their wounded brothers and sister along the road. The advice is not a invitation to be selfish, but a invitation to take on responsibility.
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