A subtle shift

We need to add a new phrase to our vocabulary. We are all familiar with the term "guilt trip." When I was regularly seeing a therapist last year, we talked regularly on the difference between "guilt" and "shame." The main differences she listed were that guilt is righteous chastisement given by God to drive us to change and self-correction. Whereas shame does not drive us to change. Shame is a tool that drives us to hide but not to change. Obviously guilt and shame often find us at the same time, but I do think it's important to remember that they are not the same, come from different sources, and take us in entirely different directions.

I found myself over-thinking last night, one of the things that happens when my anxiety is on the rise as it has been. And the first words that came to mind were that I was guilt-tripping myself. But I did at least stop to wonder if guilt was the right word. Even the phrase "guilt-tripping myself" sounds like a tool of shame. Like a mental weapon of self-harm instead of a physical one. A way to wallow rather than to rise above.

So as awkward as it sounds, can I propose the concept of "shame-tripping" to mirror the idea of "guilt-tripping" ? It's probably superfluous, but I still appreciate the subtle shift in attitude that comes from being able to properly identify what I am experiencing. Is this train of thought going to help me or deter me? Sometimes just acknowledging that this is just a story my mind tends to tell helps me detach from the shame instead of feeling culpable. Sometimes it helps me step back just enough to consider how I can change the narrative to make it a productive one. Obviously this is sometimes harder than it sounds. Once I identify that I'm only feeding the narrative of shame, I tend to experience a circular and nonsensical chain of shame of feeling shame. What a "trip" eh?

Anyway, food for thought.