So while I’ve written so many times about the Addiction Recovery Program and all the good I think it does in my life, and how much good I think it has the potential to do in the lives of others, I wanted to discuss the one thing I don’t agree with.
What’s the stereotypical moment everyone can picture about any Addiction Recovery meeting just from watching TV?
“Hi, my name is Jane and I’m an addict”
“Hi, Jane”
This is why the first ten seconds of my turn in the sharing portion of the meeting are always my least favorite. It’s one of the reasons I often don’t want to go even when rationally I can tell myself that if I go I’ll enjoy the meeting. I do not include “and I’m an addict” in my intro. Not that everyone does anyway, but regardless... For more than one reason, I do not, nor have I ever considered myself an addict. And while I won’t make a rigid sweeping statement regarding the future... I do not intend to ever identify myself as such. It’s a moment in the meeting that makes me feel out of place. I mean, if I had to pick one thing to identify as my “addiction” in life, it would be struggling to stick to a budget. I don’t even like shopping that much and yet retail therapy still gives me a release that I crave and guilt trip over afterwards. But is that the reason I go to ARP? No, it’s not.
Among other reasons, I believe in Labelling Theory. And I won’t give myself a label that pretends to define and limit what I am and who I can be. I think that very concept is an affront to the principle of the atonement. Now for those of you who are raising their hands saying woah now... I will clarify that I understand how other people can accept the term “addict” without feeling like it offends the atonement. I’m fully aware it’s just the perspective I’m coming at it from.
I do think it is amazingly powerful to speak the words out loud “I have a problem” and “I need help.” And even for those who are no longer tempted by the thing that brought them to the meetings, I appreciate being able to say “this is a problem I have had, and I have grown and changed because of it.” And even, “I had a problem, I’ve moved past it, but I am still dealing with the negative after-effects.”
I guess to me I just think the term “addict” isn’t a necessary distinction that needs to be made unless you want to call us all addicts. Addicts to our “natural man” however uniquely that may present in each of us. Each of us has something we struggle with, something that drags us down, or something that drags others down. We are all imperfect, and each of us has something that if we were to let go of, our lives would be improved. And the ARP meetings are about being in a safe place where everyone can admit that without feeling judged because you feel you are among like peers. But in reality, we ought to be able to feel that way all the time, because none of us are perfect.
That’s life.
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