Recently

Wow, seems like a lot has happened in my life of late. And yet at the same time it's still pretty empty. Currently, I am still looking for a job... With no success. Yeah, pretty lame. And I've been home now for almost two months now... wow, does not seem that long. I guess because when I first got home, the first month or so was spent hanging out with Paula, and then being a loser with no social life, when she left.

Nowadays, I usually hang out with Mandy all day twice a week or so. We seem to be making a habit of hanging out on Tuesdays, and then going to institute together. We are becoming fun amazing friends. Right now she is sick, which is sad, because she coughs all the time, and just looks and sounds very tired. But I still hung out with her all day yesterday and bossed her around to make her sleep and such things... hehe! woops! That's okay though, I think she needed it. And she wouldn't let me do much else for her ;)

I've recently been adopted into what I believe is referred to as the "Pretty Pretty" group... haha. Sorry if that sounds like a flashback from The Uglies, series. Promise we're not air headed though. It's a circle of lovely amazing girls. And we're constantly helping each other through our individual crises. I expect to grow a lot this semester, and a big part of that growth will be because of my circle of girls. I hope to continue to grow closer to those wonderful girls!

I've decided that if since I am home, and since I have so much free time, and since I do not have a job, there must be a reason. Last time life was like this (last fall), I decided in hindsight that gaining the wonderful miss Lindy Lee, as a friend was a big part of why I was home, and why Michael went to college a semester before me. And while I certainly love, adore, and very much appreciate the friendships I am making down here this semester... and hope to keep many of them for a life time, and beyond!! I think there's more to me being home.

I've idled a lot of my time of late, and I think I'm done. With that aspect. I'm making a goal, to read the Book of Mormon every month until I go back to school. And then, at least once a semester, if not twice. I also want to attend the temple. I started to go several times a week, before I left Idaho, and I certainly miss that aspect.

I'm pretty certain my Graves' Disease is coming out of remission. And I've ignored it for a couple months now... and I'm pretty sure it's time to do something about it. I'm becoming more fidgety, and anxious, and nervous. I frequently suffer from fatigue, or insomnia. I can almost always feel my heart beat as strong and as heavy as, in Colby's words, "an army marching." When I wake up in the morning, I am seriously hot, physically, and internally. And no amount of cold liquids does anything for it. And my heart is racing as though I've been jogging, even though it should be as slow as ever since Ive just been sitting in bed. I feel like my eye sight is deteriorating, and I'm losing weight (though the weight I can also place blame on myself for!) So... yeah! not very good signs.

At any rate, I've learned a lot in the last week. More than I can even describe or share with you. Right now, I'm going to go do homework, and read my scriptures, and then make lots of phone calls to a series of doctors. Hope you, my friends, have a wonderful day!

Fridays

I haven't written in forever... I know! I'm sorry. At any rate, yesterday, I went over to my new friend Amanda (Mandy) Wood's place. She's the new nanny for the Lee-Wen's. She took over for Lindy when she left.

For the most part I just hung around the house while she got Caleb all fed, and such. But when he went to take his nap, we watched a movie, (and ate rice and beans, that Mandy had cooked for our lunch!). And after the movie we sat on the couch for a while talking. Which is always good. I don't think we'll end up being like best friends or anything, but she's pretty fun. She reminds me a lot, of Lindy, but her personality is very different in a lot of respects. When Caleb woke up, and Eilie got back from school, we painted pretty pictures! lol. Fun times, I know. Around 6:30 I think, I left and it was seriously POURING, like I've never seen so much rain in my life. NO visibility, man. And while I was driving home, this guy randomly stops dead--in the middle of the highway, I mean, really!? And I had to swerve into the other lane, and I started hydroplaining.. and just, YAH! At any rate, I did get home okay. And I texted Mandy when I got home to let her know that I was safely at home.

Ate dinner with the fam, and then scurried off to Beth's birthday party, which was located at Ali Hancock's place, in Cedar Park (forever and a day away). Beth is a girl in the Mt Bonnell Singles Ward, that I really don't know all that well, but hey! Gotta go to the parties, right? Yep! Anyway, lots of fun smiling people were there at the party. Virginia, Shaunna, Caroline, Ali, Kayla, Tiffany... you know! And Mandy got there a couple minutes after I did.

A bunch of people, including the first three girls I mentioned, and Mandy, ended up playing a version of like King of the Mountain, with this huge floating circle, in the pool. I of course, avoided it, since I can't get my ear wet! Hole in the eardrum and all. But they certainly had a lot of fun. So I took pictures for a while, and then got in and swam around. As it got later, more people started to dissipate away from the party... and I joined the group of people sitting in the hot tub. We started to play truth or dare, and two truths and a lie, and that kind of thing, you know. And slowly more and more people started to leave, until it was left down to Ali, Mandy, and I, and a guy named Jake, that I don't really know (like, at all!) lol. We got into all kinds of deep conversations, and just talked for like, EVER! lol. It was lots of fun, and I found out some exciting, entertaining things about Ali. And it was a bonding moment, of course!

At any rate, Mandy and I didn't leave until like 3am haha. I got a text at midnight from Steve, my brother in law, saying "My, aren't we out late tonight?" lol... which was pretty funny, considering I got that text three hours later. At any rate, I texted Mandy to make sure she had gotten home, because she had been starting to look pretty tired by the time we left. And then proceeded to stay up for the next like hour.. haha. What a party.

Lots of fun though!
Live life!

Turtle's Funeral

I spent the afternoon today, making Turtle's headstone, and digging a hole for his grave. After I was done with that, I put his body in the ground, and covered it with ash, and the blanket I made him when he was little that had his name stitched into it.

After putting vines and food around him, I called my mother out to let her see the grave, and then she requested to put the dirt in. First, however, we said a prayer over the spot, and then covered him, and lined the grave with rocks.

Ode to Turtle

Today was a wonderful day, until I got home and was told one after another by four different people within 15 seconds of walking in the door, that my bunny had died. The fourth person, being my jerk brother, who is insensitive, sarcastic, and rude.

So, somehow... the door "became open" and the bunny got out. Something must have got him, because he is now dead. I would have preferred that my family left him alone, so that I could deal with him myself. But no, my family prefers to try and be helpful, which is rarely appreciated.

So, here is a picture journal of Turtle's life with me.


Turtle's first day at home!




Turtle's first Easter, shortly after getting him!


Turtle's trip to Church (day before his trip to high school!)


Turtle on his harness and leash running around the yard.
I was going to pull out his harness and let him run around tomorrow...


Turtle on the last day that I held him, and the last day he got one of Emily's home made salads that were just for him.

I love you Turtle, and I shall see you once I have been twinkled.

Organ Donor

Today I became an organ donor! I always wanted to become one, and now I'm 18, and I decided to do it! I feel the love man! Spread the Love and feel the Love!

And if you feel comfortable with it, you should all do it too!!
muah!

Click Here to Register! at OrganDonor.Gov

Cecil O. Samuelson, Jr., Dean, regional representative and physician. February Ensign 1988

Organ transplantation is one of the true medical wonders of our age. Medical science has progressed to the point that the replacement of an injured or diseased body part, such as a kidney, cornea of the eye, heart, liver, bone, bone marrow, skin, or pancreas is becoming fairly common. Most donors plan before they die to give certain organs or tissues. However, some organs—such as kidneys—can be donated to someone in need while the donor is still living.

As is the case with many other scientific developments, there are many questions about organ transplantation that have serious economic, ethical, moral, and religious implications. And, as with many other important aspects of life, we have been counseled to study the information, make decisions, and pray for wisdom about our choices. (See D&C 9:7–9; D&C 58:26–28.)

The Church has taken no official position on organ transplants. It seems obvious, however, that organ transplantation does not affect one’s resurrection, since the organ would soon have returned to the basic elements of the earth following death anyway. Whatever happens to an organ following death, we are promised that “every limb and joint shall be restored to its body, yea, even a hair of the head shall not be lost.” (Alma 40:23.)

In the meantime, wonderful blessings have come to thousands of people and to their families through organ donation and replacement. Several doctors who work with transplantation have shared with me inspirational stories and letters from those who have received this special service. Families grieving from the death of a loved one have been greatly comforted by the knowledge that other lives have been saved or measurably improved after receiving a vital organ transplant. Other families have been spared serious illness or death because a living family member was able to donate an organ to a loved one.

As I work with the givers and receivers and see the selfless love that is evident in this gift of life and health, I am often reminded of what Peter and John did when they met the lame beggar as they went into the temple. The lame man asked only for alms but instead was healed. To the one in need, Peter said, “Silver and gold have I none; but such as I have give I thee.” (Acts 3:6.)

Those who are considering donating a kidney to a loved one should be aware that only those who meet strict requirements will be considered as donors. Because of careful screening, and because of advances in transplantation techniques, donors do not face the risk they did just a few years ago. A healthy person can give a kidney, for example, and continue to live a normal life, sustained by the remaining kidney.

While the matter of vital organ transplantation remains a highly personal one, it deserves prayerful consideration.

Freshman Finite

Freshman year of college is over. I'm a little nervous on some of my classes for this semester.. I'm not sure what the grades will be like yet... but here's hoping!! I made some new BESTIES, and I love them very much! I'm so glad that so far all of my friends are on the same track as me, and I will therefore be able to see them all when we come back for school in January. You can tell you've spent far too much time with a person with you start picking up some of their funny quirks! But that's all right!

I'm officially out of Rexburg, and I have entered Logan, Utah! I'm staying with Kathy until Tuesday when I board my plane around 5pm I think. Monday, my brother Chad arrives here, with his family, whom I haven't seen since Melanie got married! Super exciting I agree! I figure I'm going to spend the first week of being home catching up with friends, and writing a resume I'm sure... blah. haha. And then I will get going on job hunting, (and still hanging out with friends)^_^ That's the current plan.

I have TWO letters currently waiting for me from Australia, and I'm super excited... who knows by the time I get home, maybe I'll even have THREE!!! AHHHH. So much to reply to. I might have to put two stamps on my next letter to him to make up for the weight and fatness of it!!

I'm so excited to see my friends from home, but I miss my college friends so much already! I'm happy, (nervous about grades), and anxious to be home!

I love you all!
see you soon! or in the hopefully near future!

Romantic Tragedy

"Anyone lived in a pretty how town"

anyone lived in a pretty how town
(with up so floating many bells down)
spring summer autumn winter
he sang his didn’t he danced his did.

Women and men(both little and small)
cared for anyone not at all
they sowed their isn’t they reaped their same
sun moon stars rain

children guessed(but only a few
and down they forgot as up they grew
autumn winter spring summer)
that noone loved him more by more

when by now and tree by leaf
she laughed his joy she cried his grief
bird by snow and stir by still
anyone’s any was all to her

someones married their everyones
laughed their cryings and did their dance
(sleep wake hoe and then)they
said their nevers and they slept their dream

stars rain sun moon
(and only the snow can begin to explain
how children are apt for forget to remember
with up so floating many bells down)

one day anyone died i guess
(and noone stooped to kiss his face)
busy folk buried them side by side
little by little and was by was

all by all and deep by deep
and more by more they dream their sleep
noone and anyone earth by april
wish by spirit and if by yes.

Women and men(both dong and ding)
summer autumn winter spring
reaped their sowing and went their came
sun moon stars rain

-- E. E. Cummings

REL 342

I dunno what's up with my religion teacher.. he's a nice old guy.. but I swear.. I've had like four different absences randomly pop up... on days when I know I was in class, and I could even quote you things we talked about. And I have specific memories of marking the roll! And then the next class, there's a blue highlight mark instead of my checkmark! What's up, man!? It's like he makes a new roll sheet, and skips over my name, and then marks me absent later? What's the deal!! Anyway, good thing he's fairly trusting, and so far I think when I've emailed him about it he's corrected it. Just frustrating in the last couple weeks.

More importantly, you should read my previous post!
loves

Hinckley

I want to be happy,
But I won’t be happy
Till I make you happy, too.
(Irving Caesar, “I Want to Be Happy” [1924])

How true this is.

Every woman is a daughter of God. You cannot offend her without offending Him. I plead with the men of this Church to look for and nurture the divinity that lies within their companions. To the degree that happens, there will be harmony, peace, enrichment of family life, nurturing love.

-Gordon B Hinckley

Being Nice

Being nice makes you good friends, fairly easily, and fairly frequently, which is lovely. And I love being nice to people, and helping them and cooking for them, or doing their dishes. Because I love them. And we're all children of God, which I think, as a mormon very much changes my perspective on doing good deeds or service for others. Makes me much happier to do it. I love it.

But it also makes you feel like they are good friends. And I think a lot of the time, that feeling really isn't mutual. People like you, because you're nice, sure. They don't mind having you around, because they at least don't find you too annoying. They probably feel like they know you well enough to come borrow a cup of sugar.. but do they feel like they trust you? Or that they can come to you when they're feeling down? And I do mean come to you, not dump on you if you happen to be there at the right time. Because I think that's very different, personally.

I have lots of friends. Lots of really fun friends. And I love them all. But I think that in all reality.. not more than one, maybe two, actually have an equal relationship with me. Not that I mind doing lots of things for people.. it's just that every now and then you wonder why no one else does anything for you, yeah? Sometimes it's a personality difference. And sometimes it's because they don't feel the same desire or obligation to send their love to you, as you do for them.