Creation

I mentioned to my therapist on Tuesday that I had started blogging again. I really enjoy blogging actually because it helps me sort out my thoughts and makes those thoughts feel more concrete and purposeful. It's extremely therapeutic for me. And since I do it just for me.. It's a bit what I imagine a day at the spa to be for other people. And I enjoy giving people the opportunity to get to know me in a way you don't always get to know people: how they think. I've only really had one friend with whom I had a relationship where we were constantly asking eachother what was goin on inside our heads. I know she worried that it bothered me but I loved it.

Anyway.. I really haven't wanted to do much for a while now. I've dealt with depression for most my life but this last year I think it just spiraled and I just haven't wanted to do things that I used to enjoy. My therapist said it an extremely good sign that I was "creating" again. I liked that. Io suppose I hadn't necessarily thought of blogging as a creation like my poems used to be or my short stories or drawings.. But I have enjoyed finding joy in something again.

Tonight as I was thinking about that... I thought about other contexts for "creation." Creation of the world. Creation of life. Creation of Man and Woman. I thought of the promise we've been given that as we strive to return to our Heavenly Father, we will one day be involved in the creation of spirits, of worlds.. One of the most sacred and spiritual, celestial, Godly things we will ever do is to Create. So it makes sense that creation is a sign of being in a better place mentally, spiritually..

I attended a meeting today with the missionaries in my church, talking about people investigating the church and how we can best fellowship them... And I felt grateful to be a part of something again. A part of a committee ready to serve, ready to share their love for the gospel, ready to love. I felt grateful to witness these missionaries and their desire to do the Lord's will. I suppose it feels like another opportunity to create.. by kindling or re-kindling a testimony of Christ in others and perhaps myself too.

I was reading an old blog entry earlier today in which I described something about myself quite succinctly... That I have a hard time bearing testimony when I have not felt gratitude that day... Someone in church last Sunday was quoting someone when they said "gratitude is the parent of all other virtues" and I think that truly is the case.. So, I pray for gratitude, that I may be more prepared to bear my testimony of Christ and his plan for us.